Andrea McLean pretended "everything was fine" the day after an onslaught of suicidal thoughts.
Andrea McLean
The 'Loose Women' star admitted the dark feelings - which was the culmination of money worries and stress - "lasted a night", but she decided to hide her worries from her loved ones.
She told the Daily Mirror newspaper: "Unless someone’s been there it’s impossible to describe. It lasted a night and it was the longest night, dark and horrible.
"I was on the floor, pacing the room and crying ... The next morning I got up off the floor and went to work. I spent a whole day pretending everything was fine.
"By the time I got home I thought, ‘It’s passed. I still don’t feel right but I don’t want to think about it anymore.’ So I never mentioned it.”
The 51-year-old star's husband Nick Feeney only realised how low his wife had been when she detailed her breakdown in her book 'This Girl Is On Fire'.
Andrea was already suffering panic attacks when she started her career as a weather presenter in 1997, which came after she was knocked over on the Underground.
She said: "Nobody helped and I had a panic attack on the platform. It feels like you’re having a heart attack. It took years to know what they were.”
Although she kept her mental health struggles secret for so long, she revealed her husband - whom she married three years ago - has been incredibly supportive.
She added: "Subliminally, my brain knew it was my turn – I’d caught him, now he’d catch me. We’re best of friends.
“I said we needed to have a hobby that would force us not to talk about work. Before Covid we’d just started going to salsa classes. We need to find something else.”
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