Marry Abroad has found that three quarters of couples paid for their own weddings this year. No help from parents or donations from grandparents- the couple took the whole burden of the cost.
Weddings on Female First
So despite tradition, it appears that the father of the bride is off the hook either entirely or for a portion of the bill as the bride’s parents are keen to chip in now where they can too. In fact, it is no longer expected of the father of the bride to pay for the whole event, given that many see this as a dated tradition.
If the couple can’t afford the whole wedding themselves it appears that all of the family, including parents, siblings and grandparents foot an element of the bill, with 81% of weddings now being funded for this way, according to Beaverbooks. Or in the case of 18% of couples, the groom’s parents are now the ones who take care of the entire cost.
The family might buy the more expensive gifts such as the wedding rings, bridal jewellery and watches. Despite all of this help, however, some couples still don’t have enough money to have the wedding they really want, if they were expecting more money from their parents or they did not account for other expenses which resulted in them having to make sacrifices. This often causes fallings out between the bride and her parents with residual awkwardness on their big day. Some are so overwhelmed by the money their parents offer that they cannot accept such a grand gesture. Other niggles arise when one set of parents donate more into the wedding fund than the other.
Some parents didn’t want to contribute to the wedding, but rather a deposit for a house or a baby fund seeing a big wedding as an extravagance, that their money would be wasted on.
Anna Blackburn a spokeswoman for Beaverbrooks said: ‘’Weddings can be expensive and it’s fairly common for family members of both the bride and groom to contribute.
‘’The days of the father of the bride paying for everything are becoming increasingly uncommon, not only because it’s huge financial burden for him, but also the groom’s parents want to play a part too – which is understandable.
‘’It can take years to save for the wedding of your dreams and many couples do sacrifice other things in order to pull off the best day of their life.
‘’Many argue that spending thousands and thousands on one day is unnecessary but for many it’s a once in a lifetime opportunity.’’
‘’There really is a lot to consider when it comes to weddings but the planning can be really enjoyable.
Another dramatic shift is that couples are now making most, if not all of the decisions for their wedding. Where in years gone by, the parents had a significant impact on elements of the big day, now couples are saying ‘no’ to outside influences and going for what they want and not what their parents think they ought to have. Couples are no longer crowd pleasers and are thinking more about their needs and desires when it comes to their wedding day.
Traditionally it was always the bride’s side who were the decision makers along with the bride and there was very little input from the groom’s side, however now, it is either equal or non-existent.
Despite some taking the hit of the entire bill, 5% of newly married couples are still going over budget, with only 19% who stay within their means, the rest going well over their initial forecast.
Charlotte Hand, Co-Founder of Marry Abroad states:
“Perhaps it’s a hangover from the recent recession, however the fact most couples are paying for weddings themselves is a sure sign of the times. Far from choosing the most expensive venue or marquee, couples have to save up longer, resulting in longer engagements, and make more informed nuptial choices these days. And holding the purse strings, it’s no surprise they therefore want to make most decisions themselves.
“Furthermore, having paid for the wedding, we are seeing more and more couples asking guests to contribute to their honeymoon via a list kept at a travel agent/tour operator. This allows couples to take a trip that may be more luxurious than they could afford themselves, and also allows guests to give the couple a gift they can enjoy together. This trend has grown fast over the past five years as couples who have lived together for years realise its ok to ask their guests for a gift they will enjoy together, and not just upgrade their bath towels or pans!”