A fifth of British marriages hold a secret that could end the relationship according to Slater and Gordon. This one secret that was not divulged before weddings vows were exchanged is generally about something very important.
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Despite many who believe that it is not something their spouse would ever find out, they have had sleepless nights, mood swings, panic attacks, alcohol dependency and ongoing guilt because they know that if their partner did by some miracle find out, their marriage would be over.
Although their partner might not know about the secret, the keeper is unable to relax around their partner and has even gone as far as to sever contact with friends who might know the truth, change jobs and borrow money to cover up debts. They are often scared that the truth will come out in casual conversation.
The average secret is keep under wraps for 10 years however when it comes to the secrets within marriage- couples can easily keep one for up to 25 years. If it does eventually come out it is a concern that it will seem far worse that it actually was in the heat of the moment.
From infidelity, money issues, pornography- most couples have six secrets of varying degrees. Slater and Gordon find that often the reason for divorce is because of a secret.
Amanda McAlister, head of family law at Slater & Gordon said: "There is often a perception that marriages come to an end because of lots of little things coming to a head over time. But we find that a high proportion of clients come to us having been in a happy marriage just weeks earlier. It's normally the case that one lie or one secret is the undoing of the whole marriage.
"These divorce proceedings are often the most bitter and aggressive as well as there are a lot more emotions running high. They can also quite acrimonious in terms of negotiating over assets and can drag on for years.
"Couples who drift apart over time tend to be happier trying mediation or have a 'quickie' divorce but marriages that come to an explosive end can be expensive. Our advice to clients in these circumstances is to find a reasonably priced lawyer who will be honest with you and that you get on with. That way they will work with you to make the process as easy as possible.
“Because if you are hiding secrets then there is a strong chance they will be revealed during the financial disclosure part of the divorce proceedings. We often find couples have hidden bank accounts, secret properties or even personal credit cards they have used to hide purchases during a marriage. These things will come out during the divorce process and they are likely to make the process messier. "
Couples are so worried that the secret will end their marriage that they have been tempted to end things on their terms first.
The most common secrets are infidelity, contact with an ex, past relationships and pornography.
Other secrets include money troubles, drug use, infringement of the law and sexuality.
Reasons for not coming clean other than the marriage endings were that they didn’t want to worry their partner, that they wouldn’t understand or that whatever it is will not happen again.
Amanda McAlister, head of family law at Slater & Gordon said: "My advice to anyone is to try and be as honest as possible with your partner. Most people want to be married and in my experience couples are often more hurt by the lies covering up a mistake than a mistake in the first place. Because a bombshell three years too late can often be the end of a marriage and the start of lengthy and expensive litigation."
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