It’s very easy to lose sight of the basics in your relationship when you become parents. Sleep deprivation, exhaustion and lack of routine can make you put things on the back burner that were once important to you as a couple. If you feel like you’ve lost your partner because you have both morphed into parent mode- here are some tips to help you maintain your couple status too.
Parenting on Female First
Say ‘I love you’
It’s important to reassure your partner that you still love them, even if you can’t enjoy the things you used as much. You may not have as much time together as you once did, but it doesn’t mean that your love for each other has dwindled. You need to keep reminding one another of this fact.
Try to do something couply together regularly
You may not have the luxury of being able to do this every day, but commit at some point to watching your favourite programme together once your baby is asleep, to turning off all your devices so you can have an adult conversation or to making time for some intimacy. Ten minutes here, half an hour there can make all the difference and you will cherish the moments you once took for granted.
Talk about your feelings
Your emotions are heightened after going through childbirth together, enduring sleepless nights and getting to grips with your new life. That’s why it’s vital that you talk it through with your lover. It’s ok to miss your old life and it’s ok to be scared about your new one- chances are you both have the same concerns and worries. If communication was your strong point in your relationship before- make sure it stays that way now you’re parents.
Have a regular date night
You might have to plan it further in advance than when there was just the two of you but see if someone will babysit for a few hours while you catch a movie, go for a meal or just enjoy a walk without the pram. It’s vital that you get this time to reset and just be a duo for a while.
Show your appreciation for one another
You have both made sacrifices to transition from being just a couple to being a couple with a baby so make sure you acknowledge this by saying ‘thanks’. Mums experience massive changes to their bodies and are often the primary caregiver, but partners have the worry of being the main wage earner during this time to support their family. There is pressure on both of you- and you must work together not turn it into a contest.
Make time for romance
Whatever that might be for you as a couple. It could be a little gift here and there, it might be a sweet text, a cheeky kiss when one of you least expects it or card ‘just because’. Whatever you used to do for your partner to show them you care- keep this up because these gestures matter now more than ever before.
Praise each other
It’s vital that you give each other a boost during this time. Tell your partner they look good, that they are still the best sidekick you could ever ask for and that they are doing an excellent job of being a mum or dad. Your opinion matters to them as does theirs to you so expect the same in return.
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