Mums struggle to fit in “me-time”

by Laura Cummins | 2 July 2014

Being a mother is not easy. Running around after all the family, not sure whether you’re coming or going, and when it comes to having some ‘You-Time,’ does it feel like a distant memory?

Parenting on Female First

If so, it won’t come as much of a surprise, as a new survey has revealed that mothers get, on average, 1 hour and 58 minutes to themselves, each day.

Care.com found that 89% of mums feel like they are always caring for other people with an average time of 4 hours and 34 minutes of their own time being spent looking after others.

The average mum in the UK now takes on care responsibilities for six different family members, even the family pet.

As well as looking after their own children, mothers are helping an elderly parent or parent-in-law, even grandparents or grandparent in-laws are enjoying the company of UK mums.

70% of mothers feel that they are so busy taking care of others, they don’t have enough time to spend with their partner or friends, with a further 71% fitting a job into their hectic lifestyle.

Caring for others does not come cheap with the average monthly household care bill totalling £112 – more than 7% of the average family outgoings of £1,521, according to the survey.

The feeling of repetition may be current with daily chores, such as cooking meals and washing clothes, being the most common job that mums do for others.

15% care for elderly relatives living with them full time, while 22% have an average of two grandchildren and spend nearly 8 hours per week taking care of them. 61% feel guilty for the lack of time spent with their family, while 75% wish they had more time to spend with their family. And three quarters of mums wish they had more help caring for everyone within their family.

Liz Fraser, parenting author and Care.com Modern Family Expert said: “As any mum knows, caring for children takes up a huge amount of time, but the children aren’t the only ones in the family relying on mums. Many mums are part of what is now known as the 'sandwich generation,’ caring for their children as well as their elderly family members.

“Even if they are simply running errands for an elderly parent or grandparent or popping in to check that they are OK every now and then, it means time out of their day. In some cases, these multiple care responsibilities leave mums feeling guilty about the lack of time that they have to spend with their children, friends or partner and can also lead to little time for relaxing or simply doing something for themselves.

“This in turn, along with the pressures of work, can affect mothers’ physical, emotional and social wellbeing.”

Sigrid Daniel, Care.com Parenting Expert, added: “Many mums feel significant responsibility to manage the care of their different family members on their own. Without good support or suitable knowledge of where to find the care that best suits their individual requirements, putting care in place can be confusing, time-consuming and costly.

“A non-judgmental and supportive care solution such as Care.com can help families not only find different options for carers in the local area but can also allow families to make safer, more informed hiring decisions, leaving families feeling less guilty and more confident with the care in place.”

Top 10 people mums regularly care for or look after: