Occasionally, whingeing reflects a more generalised miserable mood -which may be caused by hunger, fatigue or illness. Do all you can to give positive attention to non-whiny behaviour and practise calm refusals until your toddler asks properly in a reasonable tone. If she can't talk yet, you may need to distract her with another activity when the whining starts.
Why toddlers cry
Fears - the dark, the potty, insects, animals and so on.
Anxiety - especially about separation from you or being left with a new carer.
Frustration - being unable to manage or do everything she wants.
Attention - wanting you to spend more time together.
Bumps and knocks - she may be scared by how easily she can be hurt.
Your child may also be hungry, overtired or rebelling against bedtime - or she may just want to have her own way and demonstrate independence.
Whining and moaning Whining is one behaviour guaranteed to unite parents as they strive to combat "I want, I want." It can be tempting to give in to demands for a bit of peace, but this is a mistake as it will only make the behaviour worse.
Coping tactics
Don't reward whining by giving your child what she wants - this only teaches her that it's the best method of getting her own way. Deal with obvious causes that you can sort out, such as tiredness, hunger and boredom. Give plenty of positive attention when your child asks nicely or behaves well. Respond quickly when your child asks for something, even if your response is no. Don't wait until she moans. Keep toddlers busy with interesting toys and activities. It might help to demonstrate to your child how silly she sounds. Imitating your child can sometimes lead to her laughing about it, but don't do this if it makes her angry. If you know you'll end up giving in, it's better to do so right away - "Yes, I'll get you sweets today" or "Yes, you can have a video now." Waiting teaches your child that the longer she whines, the greater her chance of success.
You obviously can't give in to everything your toddler wants and it always helps to explain why not. Say: "You can't have sweets now because lunch will be ready in a minute" or "You can't watch a video now as it'll soon be bedtime."
Sometimes "I want" is really a sign of wanting attention. A cuddle, a bit of praise, a few minutes spent sitting on your lap or reading a book and your child will probably be happy to go off and play again.