Toddlers can act out their anger and other strong emotions. So how you can soothe them and your frazzled nerves?
The peak age for tantrums is two to three, but they can happen earlier. Many children continue to have the occasional tantrum until they're four or five, or even older, but by this age it's easier to reason with your child and talk things through.
These outbursts are often called temper tantrums, because of the obvious link with angry feelings that are out of control, but there are other strong emotions your child could be feeling as well.
Frustration - at not being capable of doing something yet (such as tying her shoelaces) or not being able to make others understand what she wants.
The desire for independence - simple things such as strapping your child into her car seat can seem like a deliberate move to thwart her independence.
Hunger and/or tiredness - your toddler is more likely to behave badly when she's in this state.
Being refused something - you may have said no to an ice cream, for example, or another child may not want to share a swing or toy.
Wanting attention - small children love to be the centre of attention, even for negative reasons, so if you've given a lot of attention to previous tantrums, your toddler may try the same again.
Boiling over - there are days when your child may be emotionally overloaded by her angry feelings and a tantrum seems inevitable as a result.
With some forward thinking it's possible to cut down tantrums or make then less overwhelming.
Set a good example - if they see you flying into a rage at the slightest provocation, it will be much harder for them to learn to control their own strong feelings.
Give plenty of praise - encourage good behaviour by praising it.
Look for signs - most children give plenty of warning they're getting cross, so be ready to step in and divert their attention elsewhere Offer control and choices - it's irritating for children to feel they don't have a say or can't make decisions, so provide choices whenever possible.
If the above don't work and a tantrum kicks off, there are ways you can soothe your child.
Keep calm - it really makes a difference. Divert her - it's sometimes possible to distract a toddler before the tantrum really gets started.
Ignore the behaviour - sometimes, walking away and pretending to take no notice of a tantrum can cool things down (but this is unlikely to work once a tantrum's in full flow). Hold your child close and talk quietly and calmly to her - occasionally, this can make matters worse.
Time out - if you feel you're about to lose your temper too, put your child somewhere safe where you can leave her, although this tactic should only be with children over 18 months old and not for longer than two minutes.
Once a tantrum blows over, don't go on about it. Cuddle and make up.
The worst and most embarrassing tantrums are those that take place in public, often the supermarket. If you know your child doesn't enjoy shopping, try to arrange these outings without your child in tow. If this is unavoidable, try to make it easier on you both by thinking about the following:
Keep trips as short as possible - be organised about exactly what you need to buy and stick to it.
Use distraction - take a toy for your child to play with or a book for her to browse. It can also help to have a drink and snack handy. Let your child help - ask your child to get cereal, teabags, bin liners and other (light, non-breakable) items within her reach. Let her put the items in the trolley or on the checkout, too.
If a tantrum does threaten, remain calm - talk quietly to your child, explaining that the behaviour isn't acceptable. You may find you have to leave the shop and go back later, even if this means you leaving your shopping behind. You won't be the first parent to have to do this!