Care for the Family, a national charity which aims to promote strong family life and to help those who face family difficulties, shares its advice on surviving the Christmas season with your nearest and dearest.

Parenting on Female First

Parenting on Female First

For many couples, the Christmas holidays can be one of the most stressful times in their marriages. Last year, a family law firm’s survey of 3,000 people reported that over half of couples argued more during the festive month than at any other time of the year. The poll also revealed that the average couple had four rows a day during December - adding up to 124 over the month. The main sources of conflict or stress during the Christmas season are money worries, visiting the in-laws, housework, and cooking and preparing for guests.

So how can you survive these pressures as a couple and make sure that Christmas truly is the season of peace, joy and goodwill to all men?

Manage your spending

Financial worries can badly affect your relationship and since Christmas is one of the most costly times of the year, it’s not surprising that money is a particular cause of stress. Many couples find it helpful to agree on a budget for their Christmas spending before the season begins. As well as helping us see clearly what money we have available (and how much we might need to save up), it means that we don’t end up spending money we don’t have.

It can be very hard to cope with the pressure to buy expensive gifts, but having to stick to an agreed budget makes it much easier. The important thing is to ensure that you don’t end up in debt. Remember – the ‘bargains’ you buy on credit can end up costing you much more in the long run.

Some couples find that, where possible, shopping together for presents will help them to avoid arguments. (And why not use Christmas shopping as an excuse to spend time together, and enjoy a seasonal treat out?)

Manage family expectations

Depending on your backgrounds, it can often be hard to balance the values and expectations of your families with your needs as a couple. Visiting relatives over Christmas can be a logistical nightmare if different family members live on opposite sides of the country. And deciding which in-laws to spend the festive day with is a stress for many couples.

Talk honestly to each other about how you’d like to spend Christmas and make sure that you make the decision together. Sometimes it can be helpful to alternate the visits to family members, seeing one side of the family over Christmas day and the other over New Year. Be aware of the demands on or commitments of different members of your family and be prepared to compromise.

Manage the load

Christmas is hard work, so take the opportunity to show how much you love and appreciate each other by sharing the workload. Prepare in advance who will be responsible for each task and make sure that you can both enjoy the festivities together. If cooking a Christmas dinner is not your forte, then arrange with your spouse to clear away and wash up instead.

Managing your time together

Christmas is such a busy time that it’s all too easy for time alone together to vanish completely – date nights get shelved and the hour you spending cuddling up in front of the TV just before bedtime on Saturday night is taken up with writing cards, wrapping presents or cooking mince pies! Accept that you might not be able to spend as much time alone together as you’d like right now, but if opportunities do arise – take them! If relatives are staying, why not ask them to babysit or take the kids out for a couple of hours?

So go on the offensive! Communication, planning and sharing together can help armour you against the seasonal pressures and make this Christmas a special time for you both as a couple... Locating a sprig of mistletoe might be a great place to start.

For more information visit, www.careforthefamily.org.uk

FemaleFirst @FemaleFirst_UK

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