Growing Up
Whatever you think about it, Britain’s little girls are getting old before their time. The Media, high-street retailers and music channels are all to blame for seducing them. And according to a report by think-tank Demos, as many as 900,000 teenage girls in Britain describe themselves as unhappy, depressed and worthless, growing up in a celebrity culture that puts an impossibly high values on looks.
When does it stop being innocent dressing up and wanting to look like mum, and become something inappropriate, though? The Government has led five reviews on the sexualisation of children in the last two years and the website Mumsnet has signed up some of the biggest names in British retail to their Let Girls Be Girls campaign. Stores such as Next, Marks and Spencer and John Lewis will not sell products “which exploit, emphasise or play upon children’s sexuality.”
Tanith Carey, author of Where Has My Little Girl Gone? (Lion, £7.99, released on 20th May), and mum to Lily, 9, and Clio, 6, says:
as many as 900,000 teenage girls in Britain describe themselves as unhappy, depressed and worthless
“The fine line between innocent dressing up and something more worrying comes when little girls start to believe they NEED make-up and sexy clothes, and they are not pretty enough without them. The line is crossed when little girls who are eight or nine start wearing make-up or inappropriate clothes in public. If they are then told approvingly they look cute or grown up, they start seeing it as an important part of who they are and a way to get approval.
“The line is also crossed when little girls start saying they won’t run outside or run around the house because they don’t want to ruin their clothes or smudge their mascara.”
Hayley West, 35, a Year 6 Primary School teacher in Somerset, has noticed a change in the attitude girls show. She says, “They want to bend the rules more than I used to notice. The skirts get shorter, the blouses get tighter and ‘warm winter boots’ become something that a girl in her 20s would wear on a Saturday night.
“It does worry me about the way that young girls are encouraged to buy these items that aren’t meant for their age. They are made so highly visable in bright, attractive packaging. I hope that by the time my daughter, Milly, 2 years old, is old enough to make her own choices, she will have an understanding about what all these products are. I want her to grow up knowing that she can discuss any issue with me without feeling embarrassed, however I am also aware that peer group pressure is a powerful thing and so we will need to let her have some freedom but know I will always be there to listen and support.”
But how can parents curb a little girl’s interest in fashion and make-up before it gets out of hand, yet still build her confidence? Tanith says: “Explain why she’s naturally beautiful as she is, and make it clear that appearance is just a small part of who she is.” It’s difficult for parents though, if they don’t want to deny their daughter the chance to dress and behave as her friends do.
“Parents need to worry less about what other parents think, and be more about their own children. The problem is that by not wanting to be ‘spoilsports’ or ‘fuddy duddies’, parents have done and said nothing, and the situation has gone out of control.”
Patricia Smith, 38, from Dorset, is mum to Izzie. She didn’t expect to be faced with this problem while her daughter was still in nappies. She says: “A friend, mother of my son’s best friend, gave my baby daughter the most hideous first birthday present – a ‘hotpants’ outfit. Shocking pink leggings with denim hotpants and front panel. Size 12 – 18 months. I took it straight back to Tesco and swapped it for a big cuddly bunny and a Minnie Mouse T-shirt. What possesses a woman to buy a baby hotpants and leggings?
“Another friend, mum to five children ranging from four to 20, lets her youngest come to play, wearing make-up – and I mean mascara and foundation. She carries lip gloss everywhere she goes (with some expletive printed on it) and she loves it. She’s proud of the packaging.”
If that appals you and you think that as long as you don’t encourage it, early sexualisation won’t happen to your daughter, Tanith believes you are kidding yourself.
“Sexualising messages will still get through to them. Don’t think that by talking to your daughter about the issues they’ll come in to contact with, you’ll ruin her innocence. Talk to her directly about pressures such as being thin, sexy or promiscuous. You have to help her translate the messages that she’s going to receive out there.”
Female First Amy Grace
Tagged in Parenting