Amy & Tom Project
Research reveals that schools are struggling to support bereaved pupils and need more help to do it effectively.
The charity The Amy & Tom project, an initiative aimed at helping children suddenly bereaved by any cause has joined forces with the UK’s leading funeral director, The Co-operative Funeralcare, to publish a book, Someone has died suddenly.
Sadly, most schools will have one or more pupils who have been bereaved suddenly. One of the hardest challenges that a bereaved child may have to face is going back to school while still suffering from deep grief.
Yet seven in ten schools surveyed by the Amy & Tom project on behalf of The Co-operative Funeralcare said they lacked sufficient resources and access to services to support these vulnerable pupils effectively. The research, conducted almost 100 UK schools attended by about 40,000 pupils aged from four to 18 also found:
* Eight in ten schools surveyed do not have a written school bereavement support policy.
* Of the two in ten that did, many of these policies are inadequate:
* Half do not include information about how to obtain bereavement support literature;
* Seven in ten do not provide comprehensive advice for teachers;
* Two thirds do not give advice on how to work with parents or guardians effectively;
* A third do not have a named member of staff acting as bereavement support officer; and
* A third do not have information on how to access local counselling services.
The schools surveyed reported an average of two children bereaved every year, and said many of these pupils suffered from mood swings, under-performed in schoolwork and had difficulties joining in group activities or discussions. They also found it difficult to interact with their friends, making them more vulnerable to bullying. (See bottom of this release for more data on these survey findings.)
The 40-page children’s book Someone has died suddenly is a colourful and warm picture book designed to be read with an adult and to help children of all ages cope and recover to go on to lead full and happy lives. It is based on the findings of academic studies on how to help suddenly bereaved children and has been prepared in partnership with suddenly bereaved families.
Children are taken through the book by characters Amy and Tom, two children who have been suddenly bereaved themselves. The book provides:
* information about strong feelings and how to cope
* information about what happens after a sudden death and why
* questions to stimulate discussion, such as 'Did they feel any pain?' and 'What's going to happen to their body?'
* beautiful, warm illustrations that children want to look at, and interesting fact boxes
* work book activities, including writing a poem and collecting memories
* advice for adults on how to use the book effectively
Mary Williams OBE, author of the book, said: "A sudden death in the family is devastating for children. Children may feel unable to ask questions they desperately want answered; terrified of the extreme emotions they are experiencing; and overwhelmingly sad. They may lash out, withdraw from their social group, or find they are particularly sensitive or vulnerable to bullies. This book aims to help these children and parents, guardians, teachers, health workers and other adult carers to explore their emotions, needs and concerns at the bleakest of times."
Lorinda Sheasby, The Co-operative Funeralcare’s Head of Marketing, commented: "We conduct 100,000 funerals each year, and every day, we meet families who are struggling to help children cope with a sudden bereavement. As an organisation at the heart of hundreds of communities across the country, we’re pleased to have funded the Amy & Tom project to carry out this illuminating survey and produce such a fantastic resource for children who are suddenly bereaved."
Children’s author Jacqueline Wilson said: "This book is a wonderful and much-needed guide which I am positive will really help children deal with and understand their grief. With its very accessible writing style and eye-catching design, I think it will prove an extremely useful tool for any adult trying to help a child going through a sudden bereavement."
About the Amy & Tom Project; The Amy & Tom project is a not-for-profit initiative which aims to help children bereaved suddenly by any means, including road crashes, heart attacks (or other sudden medical conditions such as meningitis), murder, suicide, or any kind of accident or other cause of sudden death. The project is run by Brake, the road safety charity. For more information, go to www.amyandtom.org and www.brake.org.uk
About The Co-operative Funeralcare: The Co-operative Funeralcare is the UK’s leading funeral director, conducting more than 100,000 funerals a year. It operates 800 funeral homes nationwide and is part of the UK’s largest mutual retailer. For more information go to www.co-operativefuneralcare.co.uk
Case Study:
Kath and Mike Coulson’s son Philip died from a sudden brain haemorrhage in March 1994, just after his seventh birthday. Philip had complained of a headache at school, vomited in the playground and by the time his parents arrived to pick him up from school, he had almost slipped into unconsciousness. He died at 11pm that night.
Philip’s younger brother Ian, who was almost four at the time, had been left with friends of the family while Kath and Mike went to the hospital, so didn’t learn of his brother’s death until the following morning.
Recalling the moment they had to break the news, Kath says: "Ian’s very first question, before we even got him home, was ‘Where’s Philip?’ and we just weren’t prepared. You go through ante-natal classes and toddler groups, but no-one ever talks about how to explain to a child that their big brother has died. We had to grapple with issues like whether to let Ian go and see Philip’s body .. we didn’t, because he was so young, but he later found this extremely difficult.
"As a parent, you have such a strong desire to protect your child and it’s incredibly difficult to deal with the fact that you haven’t been able to prevent them from the agony of loss. Their feelings are every bit as intense and painful as those of an adult but often expressed very differently. As parents struggling with our own grief, it was incredibly difficult to know what to do to support Ian. We worked with his school, but have had to tackle different issues at different times as his understanding of what happened developed. He’s had to grow up without his big brother leading the way through all of life’s milestones and is missing him again even now as he goes off to university without being able to share it with him."
Schools surveyed reported the following characteristics of bereaved children in the school environment:
* almost nine out of ten (87%) had mood swings
* seven out of ten (70%) under-performed in school work compared with previous performance
* almost six out of ten (57%) had difficulty joining in class group activities or discussions
* half (49%) had difficulty forging large groups of friends and increased vulnerability to bullying or shyness
* just under half (45%) had other symptoms
Research reveals that schools are struggling to support bereaved pupils and need more help to do it effectively.
The charity The Amy & Tom project, an initiative aimed at helping children suddenly bereaved by any cause has joined forces with the UK’s leading funeral director, The Co-operative Funeralcare, to publish a book, Someone has died suddenly.
Sadly, most schools will have one or more pupils who have been bereaved suddenly. One of the hardest challenges that a bereaved child may have to face is going back to school while still suffering from deep grief.
Yet seven in ten schools surveyed by the Amy & Tom project on behalf of The Co-operative Funeralcare said they lacked sufficient resources and access to services to support these vulnerable pupils effectively. The research, conducted almost 100 UK schools attended by about 40,000 pupils aged from four to 18 also found:
* Eight in ten schools surveyed do not have a written school bereavement support policy.
* Of the two in ten that did, many of these policies are inadequate:
* Half do not include information about how to obtain bereavement support literature;
* Seven in ten do not provide comprehensive advice for teachers;
* Two thirds do not give advice on how to work with parents or guardians effectively;
* A third do not have a named member of staff acting as bereavement support officer; and
* A third do not have information on how to access local counselling services.
The schools surveyed reported an average of two children bereaved every year, and said many of these pupils suffered from mood swings, under-performed in schoolwork and had difficulties joining in group activities or discussions. They also found it difficult to interact with their friends, making them more vulnerable to bullying. (See bottom of this release for more data on these survey findings.)
The 40-page children’s book Someone has died suddenly is a colourful and warm picture book designed to be read with an adult and to help children of all ages cope and recover to go on to lead full and happy lives. It is based on the findings of academic studies on how to help suddenly bereaved children and has been prepared in partnership with suddenly bereaved families.
Children are taken through the book by characters Amy and Tom, two children who have been suddenly bereaved themselves. The book provides:
* information about strong feelings and how to cope
* information about what happens after a sudden death and why
* questions to stimulate discussion, such as 'Did they feel any pain?' and 'What's going to happen to their body?'
* beautiful, warm illustrations that children want to look at, and interesting fact boxes
* work book activities, including writing a poem and collecting memories
* advice for adults on how to use the book effectively
Mary Williams OBE, author of the book, said: "A sudden death in the family is devastating for children. Children may feel unable to ask questions they desperately want answered; terrified of the extreme emotions they are experiencing; and overwhelmingly sad. They may lash out, withdraw from their social group, or find they are particularly sensitive or vulnerable to bullies. This book aims to help these children and parents, guardians, teachers, health workers and other adult carers to explore their emotions, needs and concerns at the bleakest of times."
Lorinda Sheasby, The Co-operative Funeralcare’s Head of Marketing, commented: "We conduct 100,000 funerals each year, and every day, we meet families who are struggling to help children cope with a sudden bereavement. As an organisation at the heart of hundreds of communities across the country, we’re pleased to have funded the Amy & Tom project to carry out this illuminating survey and produce such a fantastic resource for children who are suddenly bereaved."
Children’s author Jacqueline Wilson said: "This book is a wonderful and much-needed guide which I am positive will really help children deal with and understand their grief. With its very accessible writing style and eye-catching design, I think it will prove an extremely useful tool for any adult trying to help a child going through a sudden bereavement."
About the Amy & Tom Project; The Amy & Tom project is a not-for-profit initiative which aims to help children bereaved suddenly by any means, including road crashes, heart attacks (or other sudden medical conditions such as meningitis), murder, suicide, or any kind of accident or other cause of sudden death. The project is run by Brake, the road safety charity. For more information, go to www.amyandtom.org and www.brake.org.uk
About The Co-operative Funeralcare: The Co-operative Funeralcare is the UK’s leading funeral director, conducting more than 100,000 funerals a year. It operates 800 funeral homes nationwide and is part of the UK’s largest mutual retailer. For more information go to www.co-operativefuneralcare.co.uk
Case Study:
Kath and Mike Coulson’s son Philip died from a sudden brain haemorrhage in March 1994, just after his seventh birthday. Philip had complained of a headache at school, vomited in the playground and by the time his parents arrived to pick him up from school, he had almost slipped into unconsciousness. He died at 11pm that night.
Philip’s younger brother Ian, who was almost four at the time, had been left with friends of the family while Kath and Mike went to the hospital, so didn’t learn of his brother’s death until the following morning.
Recalling the moment they had to break the news, Kath says: "Ian’s very first question, before we even got him home, was ‘Where’s Philip?’ and we just weren’t prepared. You go through ante-natal classes and toddler groups, but no-one ever talks about how to explain to a child that their big brother has died. We had to grapple with issues like whether to let Ian go and see Philip’s body .. we didn’t, because he was so young, but he later found this extremely difficult.
"As a parent, you have such a strong desire to protect your child and it’s incredibly difficult to deal with the fact that you haven’t been able to prevent them from the agony of loss. Their feelings are every bit as intense and painful as those of an adult but often expressed very differently. As parents struggling with our own grief, it was incredibly difficult to know what to do to support Ian. We worked with his school, but have had to tackle different issues at different times as his understanding of what happened developed. He’s had to grow up without his big brother leading the way through all of life’s milestones and is missing him again even now as he goes off to university without being able to share it with him."
Schools surveyed reported the following characteristics of bereaved children in the school environment:
* almost nine out of ten (87%) had mood swings
* seven out of ten (70%) under-performed in school work compared with previous performance
* almost six out of ten (57%) had difficulty joining in class group activities or discussions
* half (49%) had difficulty forging large groups of friends and increased vulnerability to bullying or shyness
* just under half (45%) had other symptoms
Tagged in Parenting