Maintaining your child's confidence It's still vitally important for you to keep working at building your child's confidence throughout these years, especially as school life and friends may give it a sideways knock.

Give praise and positive feedback - your child measures her worth and achievements by what you think of her.

Reassure your child that it's OK to make mistakes and that it's all part of growing up.

Practise active, reflective listening - listen carefully, repeat what you've heard to make sure you understand and give positive prompts to encourage your child to continue.

Acknowledge your child's feelings - and help her express them verbally.

Criticise behaviour, not your child - it's very easy to fall into this trap, but too much criticism tells your child she's a bad person and is causing things to happen because of her own stupidity. This is very damaging if it goes on for a long time. Be clear that it's an action you're angry about or behaviour you don't like.

Respect your child's interests, even if they seem boring to you - take a genuine interest in your child's friends, and what's happening at school, and comment to show you're listening.

Encourage independence - encourage your child to take chances and try new things. Succeeding gives a huge boost to confidence, and sometimes your child will need to learn by her mistakes. Laugh with your child - never at her. Focus on your child's successes - swimming, music, whatever she can succeed at.

Talking about your child It's not only the critical things said directly to your children that can undermine confidence. If your child overhears you tell someone that "she's got two left feet" or "she's so clumsy" they might think you really believe this and feel it can't be changed.

Putting yourself down Things you say about yourself can damage your child's self-esteem. Children learn a great deal from copying adults close to them. If you overreact to situations or pressure, your child may worry that you really can't handle life's challenges. This won't set your child an example of a positive, optimistic attitude to life and how to handle problems.

Thoughtless remarks Think before you speak and choose your words with care - it's very easy to say something without thinking, then wish you hadn't.