“Don’t be so selfish! You’re going back to work too early. Your children are so young, stay at home.”
Sidra Jafri writes for Female First
Every day, I meet a mother who is stuck in between climbing the career ladder or fulfilling the dream of being a stay at home mother; a bittersweet reality weighing over her shoulders.
After all, society has taught us that being ‘selfish’ is wrong and it is important to care for others. Continuously putting other people/things above your needs creates an imbalance in many facets of your life. For me, being selfish, doesn’t mean, “I am more important than the other person” but rather, I am as important as anyone else.
When we do things that are important to us, it gives us the sense of happiness in that moment of time.
For instance, if your work is important to you, then by working, you will be experiencing happiness and that happiness will be transmitted through you and onto your child. As a result of you fulfilling your needs you free your mind to focus and enjoy the present moment.
Feelings of frustration or guilt are often signs that you may not be meeting your personal needs. A simple remedy to start aligning this starts by looking within. Doing so may be the key to reminding yourself to take stock of what it is you want outside of the labels of wife, sister, mumpreneur, entrepreneur, student or friend.
When did you last check in with you?
I believe that we are never upset at what happens, but at what we think should have/could have or would have happened.
What if you were to take a step back and ask yourself, “what is it that I really wanted to happen, that hasn’t happened?”
Enjoy observing the thoughts or emotions that may arise… remember, every event in life presents an opportunity to create a new outcome.
A happy life is hidden in the small moments of decisions to respond:
- In the right way or the kind way.
- In the rigid way or the flexible way.
To simply put it in a formula, an equation for happiness:
EVENT + REACTION = OUTCOME
Here, event is what happens to us. Reaction is how we respond to it. Outcome is what we experience as a result.
When we consciously choose the reactions that make us happy and stay present with our own desires. Then the outcome changes to happiness as a way of being and not just a state that we experience.
You can start working on yourself any time, place or day of the week. Simply ask yourself, what actions would make me happy?
And create some time each day to take those actions. You will begin you find yourself in generally happy state.
Tagged in advice