Gossip Girl Fashion Rundown: In The Realm Of The Basses

30 April 2009

After last week's traumatic offering, what would this week bring to our favourite Upper East Siders? Well, Chuck getting high in Thailand, Serena declaring her love for Dan (again) and Blair trying to gain entry into a snooty society club.

So really, a pretty standard episode of Gossip Girl, although all is clearly not well with our darling Chuck, as his hair is long and unkept, his robe isn't the finest silk and oh, he's doped out of his mind with some Thai whore helping him get that way, in an illegal Opium Den.

The Realm of The Basses opened with Serena dancing with some creepy old men in Buenos Aires, in a backless floral dress, which actually, shock horror went down to her knees! Once I recovered from that little shock, I realised that there was the distinct absence of a certain tortured artist- could he finally be gone?!

Here's hoping, but while we wait for that little secret to be revealed, we were introduced to Jenny this week, who was bravely going back to school, despite you know, everyone hating her.

Rocking a cute military jacket, she was let down by her hideous pink tutu skirt, which even Eric seemed to be embarrassed to be near, as he kept edging away from her into the road. Lol. Hating her bad roots here, but seeing as she is a poor 15-year-old wannabe fashion designer, who clearly can't afford to bleach each month, we'll let it slide for this week.

So to Queen B, and after being rejected twice by Chuck last week, she was clearly hoping to move on, and may we say sampling a gorgeous Dior quilted bag is most certainly the way to do so. Loved her ladylike look for school here, and her exchanges with Dorota about "Mister Chuck" were hilarious.

Rocking a gorgeous navy cropped jacket with puffed shoulders, white shirt, navy pencil skirt and white tights, Blair topped her school outfit with a stunning red coat with gold military buttons, as she ran to meet a mystery man named Jack, who claimed to have found Chuck.

While we're left to ponder B's new mystery man, I was over the moon to see Nelly Yuki make an appearance again, as her fab blue oversized specs were to-die-for. Actually all of Blair's minions made a welcome return in the episode, all rocking identical white coats and tights- where oh where is Queen B when you need her to inject some colour into the group!?

Well, she's off meeting Jack, who we learn is Chuck's fit uncle and is a dead ringer for a younger, hotter Bart. B's unimpressed when he warmly greets her, but he clearly shares Chuck's penchant for purple as he rocks a matching tie and shirt, while dragging an unconscious C out of the limo.

Poor Blair, you have to feel for her here, as she looked devastated at Chuck's condition, but I can't help but wonder whether she was more concerned about Chuck's dwindling fashion sense, as opposed to anything else. A velour tracksuit, mismatching jacket and hideous scarf combo?! No, no, no.

While Chuck continues to drown in his depression, Rufus has been MIA tracking down his lost child and tries to get Lily to help him with this mission. This would have been a pretty dull storyline if those clever writers hadn't decided to re-ignite the spark between Dan and Serena once more, because now it's looking like all hell will break loose in the next few episodes.

Speaking of Serena, she's back from Buenos Aires and confirms to Dan that she's broken up with Aaron (hurrah!) and wants to get back with him, yet again. Clearly she's back to her old self as she's looking less like a hobo than she has done in previous episodes, with a knitted grey waistcoat, plaid skirt and styled hair. That's a definite step in the right direction S...

Now only if you'd keep walking away from Humphrey, I'd be a happy lady. Sorry to burst everyone's bubble, but this is never going to work. They share a sibling, which as Chuck points out later on, that's even too much for him and we all know how twisted he is.

Plus, Dan can never hope to match Serena in the fashion stakes, even if the producers did try to make him look a tiny bit sexier in this scene.

Turning his dull brown coat's collar up to suck face with Serena made him look like a vampire, and instead of giving me chills, it just made me want to retch a little bit, which coincidentally was also Blair's response when she found out about her BFF dating the Humphrey once again.

Onto Jenny, who had an amusing side plot of her own this week, which involved going head to head with the mean girls and rescuing Nelly Yuki from a life of servitude. Funny, yes. Necessary, no, not really.

What was necessary however, was seeing a finally conscious Chuck make it to school and light up a spliff right in front of a horrified Blair. Dear me, a yellow T-shirt, ill-fitting trench coat, hobo pants and trainers?! This is not Chuck Bass, this is an imposter who has stolen his identity and made him look like a bloody clown.

Ok, I get it, he's grieving, but really- yellow on Chuck!? Poor Blair was left to pick up the pieces once more, when he's caught smoking by the headmistress and suspended. As much as I love C, he's dragging B down with all his antics, and needs to snap out of it soon or he'll lose her for good.

So, to Serena and Dan who decided to sneak off to his Brooklyn pad for some suggested sex, only to be caught by a furious Rufus. Obviously, he's a bit disturbed about his secret child and his current kid getting it on with his half sister or whatever...yeah, I can see how that would kill the mood.

The next day we're introduced to Jenny trying to save Nelly by appearing before a council meeting, with Blair as chair. Loved this scene, but not really mad crazy on Jenny's purple and black military top, or Blair's puffy vicar collar and green tights come to that, they seemed to be lacking her usual ladylike flair.

So, as much as I hate to admit it, the fashion points belonged firmly to the minions in this scene. All matching with their bags and headbands, Hazel's Chanel necklace and gorgeous up-do set her slightly apart from the rest, so all hail Queen Hazel! Blair seemed to be annoyed with their childishness anyway, and is clearly out growing the clique, so my pick is Hazel all the way.

Turns out Blair is distracted about Chuck and confides in Serena about how worried she is about him. S's gorgeous mink coloured leather jacket was stunning here, but kind of bland too- I'd love to see her jazz it up in some coloured tights and wacky jacket one time. Until that moment comes however, she at least accepted her friend's misery and told her to go and speak to Chuck.

We're Just Friends, honestly: Chuck at Victrola

Oh S, I do love you. but you are so stupid sometimes by just pointing out the plain bloomin' obvious. Of course B does go and see the Bass at Victrola, only to find him sandwiched between two hoes, snogging their faces off, pissed out of his mind.

I swear my heart melted for Blair at this point, because she stood her ground despite his betrayal (yet again) and even let him get away with his red shirt, black suit, necktie and red socks combo, without one word of criticism. Clearly she loves him for putting up with that devilish look, but when he rejected her help once again, she finally cracked and left him to stew.

The best scene of this episode came courtesy of our Queen, as we saw her breakdown at home, finally allowing herself to cry for a few moments, before composing herself for the Colony Club ladies. Heartbreakingly good.

While Blair's resolve starts to crack, we're back at Brooklyn with Dan starting to get suspicious about Rufus and his trip to Boston. Calling one number and finding out it's an adoption agency does kind of send alarm bells ringing in Dan's head...finally.

Back to Blair, and clearly her meltdown has impacted on her fashion sense as she's sporting what looks like an oddly shaped beret, black dress with glittery collar and a dull side chignon hair-do. Serena arrives on the scene and then has the audacity to then criticise B for leaving Chuck in his time of need!

OMG Serena, could you be more of hypocrite? Where the hell have you been during Chuck's breakdown?! Anyway, her words seem to have an affect on Blair, as when the snooty Colony ladies start bad mouthing Bart and Chuck, she puts them in their place and heads to Victrola to save Chuck once again.

The party is in full swing at C's burlesque club, and at this point I'm unsurprised to see that he hasn't even changed and looks just as out of it as before. He does, however let slip Rufus' and Lily's secret to a shocked Dan, who managed to actually branch out from his usually brown attire, to sample a grey suit jacket, and an ill-fitting one at that. Shudder.

While one Humphrey is being filled in on his personal life, the younger H is planning a blackmail operation on the minions so that they release Nelly from the group. God, I hated Jenny's outfit choice here- a horrendous pink foil dress, silver bag and black leather gloves made her look like an 80s reject, while Eric on the other hand, rocked in a lilac waistcoat, tie and shirt to fashion perfection.

As it turned out Nelly was simply playing Jenny so she would take her place as Queen over Penelope, and when a confused Jenny refused the position, Penelope declared she was bored with the whole thing and headed inside the club. Bravo!

Chuck's very public breakdown on the other hand is set to rumble on, as he's now on the roof preparing to jump, you know as you do. Blair shows up looking for him and finds herself being leered over by Jack, who so clearly has a thing for her, it's just a little bit creepy considering Blair is like 18.

His clashing Aquafresh striped shirt and paisley tie make me dislike him even more, but B has no option but to trust him and as they head up to the roof, Chuck leaning over the edge is enough to prompt Blair to make a heartfelt speech and welcome him back down, in her hideous grey volumed coat, which made her look like an old woman.

While all that drama was going on, Dan is struggling to keep the secret and wants to tell Serena the truth, but is interrupted by Rufus who says he and Lily are going looking for their child together and he should keep his mouth shut. Now, I'm not the biggest fan of Dan, but honestly this is so unfair on him. Rufus, you have a lot of explaining to do...

The episode ends with Blair and Jack heaving Chuck into his limo, and we're treated to a very interesting exchange between the B and J, with Blair revealing "He can't know what happened on New Years" Oh.My.God.

So where does that leave us for next week? Well, Serena and Dan continue to grow apart because of a certain secret, Jenny becomes a third wheel when Eric gets a boyfriend, and Chuck makes a few bad choices which result in him losing his family, company and Blair all in one fail swoop. Check in next week for another fashion rundown with, Gone With The Will.

FemaleFirst- Laura Terry

Here's hoping, but while we wait for that little secret to be revealed, we were introduced to Jenny this week, who was bravely going back to school, despite you know, everyone hating her.

Plus, Dan can never hope to match Serena in the fashion stakes, even if the producers did try to make him look a tiny bit sexier in this scene.