The truth is, loneliness is about as common of an issue in our society as the flu, smoking, drugs or alcohol. But even though it is so common, addressing loneliness is not, as most people are still under the illusion that loneliness is created by not having enough romantic love or friendships. As long as people believe that loneliness is created outside of ourselves by the facts of our situation, we won't ever be addressing the real cause of loneliness and the impact it has on our mental, emotional and physical health.
#Loneliness
Here are the top eight sources of loneliness that were common among all of the people and the businesses that I have helped that you may want to avoid, pay attention too and do something about so that that you change how you view this all-too-common but devastating psychological condition:
- Head full of noise - When our mind is cluttered, noisy, and full with disempowering beliefs, it creates disempowered states of awareness that takes us deep down into the caves of solitude.
- Poor emotional intelligence - Not knowing how to control your emotions can turn your greatest fears into experiences that leave you feeling hurt, isolated, and lonely.
- Friendships based on a need and not on authenticity, depth and love - People feel lonely because they build friendships that are based on a need. The problem with this is that once this need disappears so does the once close friendship. We keep longing for the friendship that lives in the past and forget to remain in the present moment. .
- Financial problems - Many people in the world are programed to believe that we live in a universe of "lack" and experience money issues. When someone goes through difficult financial times, his or her happiness, joy, and state of being suffers. Their behaviour changes, they withdraw, fear and loneliness takes over as they start to disconnect from people and life.
- Experiencing bullying, abuse and rejection by others - This type of loneliness comes from things like being lied to, being made fun of, bullied, being abandoned or rejected (by family, friends, work, religion, or society), being told abusive things like, "you're no good", or "we don't want you around." In these cases of verbal and psychological assaults, individuals develop defensive walls to protect themselves from this negative environment; often times shutting out both people that can help them as well as those that can harm them.
- Being different form the norm and unable to fit in - Many people perceive themselves as if they are "a black pearl in a box of shining jewels." They feel like a misfit, someone who cannot fit in with the rest of the crowd. Very often there are feelings of wanting to be like everyone else, to be "normal" instead of standing out and being rejected because of it. In some cases, the desire may extend to being popular and well-liked, not only fitting in but being looked up to and admired.
- Broken heart or missing someone - Not surprising, all of my clients have experienced the loneliness resulting from break up in a romantic relationship, loved ones passing away or just simply missing that special someone in their life. Sometimes when romantic relationships end, there is a feeling of intense loneliness, and this was especially the case for lonely individuals who experienced a break up with a person that they were still in love with. Within all of us is a desire to have special people close to us, and when that special someone is torn away from us, these intense feelings of loneliness can occur.
- Living in a technological cocoon - Advancement in technology also forced millions of people to use social networks as a way to hide their true identity, shame, and guilt from the fear of being judged, rejected and abandoned.
There are many conventional and unconventional treatments that are currently in place that you can use to address loneliness. Clearly, loneliness represents a hugely important psychological injury and not one you should ignore. Therefore, make sure to take steps when you are lonely, and wherever possible educate lonely people around you about the dangers of remaining lonely and the benefits of being connected in the ocean of oneness.
Tony J. Selimi is a human behaviour and cognition expert, speaker, entrepreneur, coach and the creator of the TJS Evolutionary Method. He is an award-winning and international best-selling author of "A Path to Wisdom" and "#Loneliness" that show the reader how to face life adversity head on and live life in a specific state of self-mastery that helps them accelerate their human potential. His clients are businesses, entrepreneurs and leaders who seek his help to manifest their highest vision, to be more healthy, wealthy, wise, spiritual and influential. He is regularly sought out to advice on subjects of leadership, mindfulness, entrepreneurship, conscious relationships, human behaviour, and purpose led transformations to corporations of all sizes and industries, government, politics and education. For more information, visit www.tonyselimi.com .