-
Weddings on Female First
Problem 1: An inconvenient date
Choose the date carefully. It is not advisable to celebrate your wedding on a Christmas day as hosting during a holiday may disrupt traditions they'd prefer not to miss. You do not want your invited guests calling you and saying that they cannot attend.
Deal with it: If you're considering wedding at a potentially sticky time of year, check in with your closest loved ones to see if they already have set plans or would be open to attending. Some events may be easier to pull off than others (eg. Halloween, Bank Holiday). Also it’s best to send out the invitations as soon as possible, the earlier the better. This way the guests can adapt to your special day and they would know not to arrange anything else for the set date.
Problem 2: Plus one or only one?
There is nothing more frustrating than when a guest assumes they're allowed to bring a plus one guest. After all, it’s your wedding, not a casual party!
Deal with it: Don't avoid the situation—it will only make things more awkward. Please don't tell someone who thought their children could come that you "can't have them there because weddings with kids are tacky". It would be best if you avoided confusion in the first place. Always make sure to write the full names of the guests you want to invite on the response card (if you wrote ‘The Smith family’ they might have thought that all of their family members are welcome). Also include the boxes for them to tick whether they "will attend" or "will not attend".
Problem 3: The seating
After the victory of and finalising your guest list comes the challenge of seating arrangements. It’s the family and closest friends that are expecting to be a priority and, obviously, what about the other guests who do not want to be seated next to a particular person, because of Godknowswhy? You also have to bear in mind the proximity of the tables and chairs.
Deal with it: If your guests' elbows touch and they can't easily move in between tables, you've probably crammed too many of them in one spot. Also keep centrepieces at a conversation-friendly height (no one wants to stare into an orchid or a massive candle holder all night). If you're having a hard time dividing a group of friends or family members equally, try to seat guests within the same area so that they can lean over and "awww" together during the first dance instead of texting across the room.
Problem 4: Pulling out the wallet
Probably, quite a few of your guests might quietly protest or just sit in the corner and sulk that there’s no ‘open bar’, just a ‘cash bar’.
Deal with it: A lot of the wedding planners agree that cash bars are a major no-no saying that you'd never ask a guest to pay for a drink in your own home, so why should the wedding be any different? However, that doesn't mean you have to fork over the cash for an open bar if you can't afford it. You really shouldn’t go bankrupt just because you guests could have a ‘proper’ drinking session. The professionals recommend serving a limited selection of wine, beer and champagne or a couple of signature drinks.
Problem 5: As Katy Perry sings: “You’re hot and you’re cold…”
Every frequent wedding-goer has experienced an event that was either scorching hot or freezing cold. Exposing guests to extreme weather conditions will severely cramp their style. Blue-lipped gents or ladies’ make-up and hair-dos melting slowly like candles is not what you want to see when you look at your guests (and the photographs in the future).
Deal with it: You obviously can't control the weather. No, not even if you ARE THE bride. Nope, not even on YOUR wedding day. However, there are small, fun measures you can take to ensure that guests are comfortable. Need some ideas? Here you go: double-duty fans that cool down the rooms for summer and heat them in winter. Why not try gifting your bridesmaids a shawl or faux fur wrap for winter weddings and classy or fun-themed scarves for the gents? In summer, you could give each guest a lovely hand-held fan to cool themselves down. Also, don’t forget the obvious – lots of fresh water bottles all around for everyone to grab.
Problem 6: (Not-really-a-Masterchef)
Food that is too cold or boiling hot is not the worst part. It’s the soggy salads or mushy canapés, which look as if they were recycled. It’s not entirely your fault. However, it is your responsibility to choose a professional and skilled chef. Believe it or not, those inedible rock-hard potatoes or a greasy, under-baked cake will be one of the things that your guest remember.
Deal with it: No bride wants to give her guests a stomachache—arrange a food tasting before you carefully plan your menu. Not even spectacular décor can compensate for rubbery chicken. Ask about food allergies or dietary requirements ahead of time. It's also important to make sure they don't run out of food at the cocktail hour. If you're only having dessert or some light nibbles, that’s fine, but please mention it to your guests (especially if you're having the party during mealtime).
Problem 7: The never-ending photo montages and speeches
Nobody wants to fall asleep during the best man’s speech or while watching the 1,251 005 photo of the bride and the groom while listening to a soppy song in the background.
Deal with it: Let the toastees know in advance that you don't want them to stress about writing a novel of a speech, so the short, clear, honest version will do just fine. Your DJ can signal a musical cue if it's time to wrap things up, just like the Oscars.
Problem 8: Please turn off the music
The wedding where the thumping of techno music begins the second that the couple walks through the door and don’t end until the cake-cutting. That is not the way to do it. (Grandma might be afraid to step foot on the dance floor, what if some blazing ‘dancer’ elbows her in the head while performing the ‘ultimately brilliant move’?) Your guests might be too polite to say this to you, but don’t be surprised to find a group of them standing in the toiled to avoid the loud music.
Deal with it: During your cocktail hour and dinner, play music that's low enough so that guests can hear each other without having to scream. Pump up the volume when it's appropriate, and don't seat any elderly guests right next to the speakers. Equally, nothing is more awkward than being at a wedding where no one wants to get up and dance. If a song or genre just isn't working, ask your band or DJ to switch it.
Problem 9: Disorganisation
Things like spending way too much time taking pictures or waiting for the meal for an hour once the guests have been seated are not pleasant. Of course, you are the most beautiful woman that day and everyone’s eyes are on you, but your guests perhaps think that 10 000 pictures of you posing like a Hollywood star next to the silver decorations might be quite enough.
Deal with it: If you're unable to hold the ceremony and reception within two hours of each other, engage your guests otherwise. For example, make sure there is a comfortable waiting area where drinks and light refreshments will be served for early birds. If your reception/ceremony space is spread out, consider using sign posts to direct guests to necessary spots, like bathroom.
Problem 10: Ungracious hosts
"We only saw the bride when she walked down the aisle!" or "It's been a year and I still haven't received a thank-you card!"
Deal with it: Sounds familiar? You don't have to hold up the wedding by having a receiving line. I love it when brides go from table to table to thank each person. It doesn't have to take long—even just a quick "hi, how are you, thanks for coming and bye" type of conversation makes the guests feel happy and appreciated.
No matter how tempting it is to ‘forget’ about the thank-you cards (who has the hand stamina for that?) guests WILL notice if you don't send one. Split the duties with your husband (how great does that sound, huh?) and break it up into manageable chunks so that it doesn't seem so overwhelming anymore.
And don’t forget to keep calm and carry on.
By Toma Sukyte - for Female First
Tagged in Wedding