A study from the University of California has shown that pre-wedding jitters should not be ignored and that those who do ignore them are more likely to get divorced.
Weddings on Female First
The psychologists studied 464 newlyweds (232 couples) in LA within the first few months of their marriage and then conducted follow ups with the couples every six months for four years.
It appears that men were more worried about getting married, with 47 per cent of them saying that they were uncertain or hesitant about getting married, compared to 38 per cent of women.
But when it came to who those doubts meant more to, women came out on top. Nineteen per cent of women who had experienced doubts were divorced four years later, compared to 8 per cent who didn’t experience doubts.
Only 14 per cent of men who had admitting having doubts about getting married were divorced four years later, compared to the 9 per cent who didn’t have doubts.
Justin Lavner, a UCLA doctoral candidate in psychology and lead author of the study, said, “People think everybody has premarital doubts and you don’t have to worry about them.
“We found they are common but not benign. Newlywed wives who had doubts about getting married before their wedding were two-and-a-half times more likely to divorce four years later than wives without these doubts.
“Among couples still married after four years, husbands and wives with doubts were significantly less satisfied with their marriage than those without doubts.
“You know yourself, your partner and your relationship better than anybody else does; if you’re feeling nervous about it, pay attention to that. It’s worth exploring what you’re nervous about.”
When both parties had no doubt about getting married, only 6 per cent were divorced after four years.
If it was just the man with doubts, 10 per cent were divorced and if it was just the woman with doubts then 18 per cent were divorced.
Justin said, “What this tells us is that when women have doubts before their wedding, these should not be lightly dismissed.
“Do not assume your doubts will just go away or that love is enough to overpower your concerns. There’s no evidence that problems in a marriage just go away and get better. If anything, problems are more likely to escalate.”
Thomas Bradbury, a UCLA psychology professor and co-author of the study said that just because you have doubts, you shouldn’t call off the wedding.
He said, “Have a conversation and see how it goes. Do you think the doubts will go away when you have a mortgage and two kids? Don’t count on that.
“Talk about it and try to work through it. You hope that the big issues have been addressed before the wedding.”
Do you have pre-wedding jitters before you tied the knot? Do you believe it’s impossible not to have some doubts?
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