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Weddings on Female First
We find out ways of getting the groom more integrated in the wedding process in light of new research that finds many grooms play no part in their wedding day preparations according to www.vouchercloud.com. Reasons for this include- the bride doesn’t let him get involved, that his ideas are dismissed, too many other commitments, he is happy to leave the decisions to the bride to be and finally some men are just not interested.
Matthew Wood of vouchercloud.com made the following remarks:
“When it comes to weddings, it is traditionally the bride and her family who take the reins with regards to planning the event; but I am astonished that over half of grooms don’t have any involvement at all. A wedding is about both sides of the couple, after all, and is shared by loved ones of both parties.”
He continued:
“Obviously, there will be both brides and grooms who aren’t so keen on all the little details of wedding planning, but for those who are, it’s important to try and have your say. Weddings are rarely cheap, so make sure it’s the day you envisaged too!”
Talk
So many grooms-to-be still think that all they have to do is turn up wearing a suit so tell him that you want him to do more than that. Some guys might think you don't want to, or that it's not even an option, so if you tell him you want his input then at least he knows your expectations.
His take on things
He might not have the same vision as you but you might be surprised when it comes down to something you have not thought of or a different way of doing things. Try to be open mined and take on board his suggestions.
Dial back the Bridezilla
You might fit into the role perfectly but try to relax a little and succumb so incorporating a bit of him in the day, it's not just your day it's his too, make it a joint effort.
Projects
If he is money savvy let him handle the budget, if he is good at organising get him to sort out the song choices or guest list, play to his strengths, so he doesn't get frustrated and disheartened about the process. Give it to him and ask him tell you when it's all sorted- it's one less thing for you to worry about too! Get him to write his speech early on so he doesn't leave it till the last minute!
Help
If you need help- ask him for it- you might think he will fail at the first hurdle, but at least he has tried. If its making the wedding invitations- show him how you want them- he will soon catch on after a few practice goes!
Something blue
Have something in the day that is unique to him- if it's some funky themed cufflinks, or on a bigger scale if you are not religious but he is; get a blessing or have two ceremonies so you can both get what you want from the day.
You Tube/ Blogs/ Facebook
This is great place to get wedding dos and don't ideas from best man's speeches to funny pictures of wedding gone wrong that have the same theme as you. The better an idea of what your do and don't want through other's little snippets the more you can enjoy the planning!
Avoid the overkill
Don't talk all day every day about shoes, dresses, favours, and invitations- because his brain will explode. Men are not interested in any of that side of things- as long as you are happy- they are happy. Talk to him in little bursts and about the things he can connect with- like the DJ choices or the suits. How would you feel if he just talked about cars, football and beer all the time?