You'll need your ear protectors for this bit. "How dare you bring drugs into our home?" shrieks Leah, as dogs begin to howl and birds fall from the trees. "What if VJ had taken the pills?" she continues, as light bulbs shatter and babies in neighbouring countries begin to cry. "He's your nephew, Alexei! He could be dead by now." The excuses that Alex makes are about as feeble as a cobweb. But there's worse to come. A nation reaches for the volume control when Leah realises that Alex used her as a drugs mule. "He's gone too far," says Dan, "and you need to go to the police." However, Leah decides to go a step further. Chopping up a courgette while pointedly looking at her brother's crotch, she dishes out the ultimate shunning. "I want you gone, do you understand?" she hisses, as the temperature in the room drops to below zero. "I want you out of my life as of this second." Bye Alex! Don't let the door hit your arse on the way out… Drew hates Jazz Ooh goody, a new hate figure has arrived. Yep, Drew's horrible mother is sure to make you fantasise that your remote control is a pistol every time she appears on screen - and to be honest, we don't think anybody in town would miss her if the worst happens.Belle, who wrote the book on appalling mums, completely understands what her boyfriend means when he calls her "toxic" and "a total parasite". Jazz, meanwhile, is well and truly getting her feet under Leah's table and generally getting in the way. "I'd like to know the real reason you're here", Drew says, while narrowing his eyes.

"You and I are long overdue for some quality time together", Jazz replies, before helping herself to another glass of wine and licking her fangs.

Obviously we don't buy it for a minute - and besides, the real reason becomes clear after Dan intercepts a phone call. "Your mum left her husband and the kids last night pretty upset", he says, while arching his eyebrows.

Picnic hampered Martha is excited about her picnic with Jack that afternoon. She's filed her nails, had her hair done and been sharpening her big teeth on a grindstone all morning.

However, their supposedly-as-friends afternoon goes awry from the outset. After getting lost, they decide to have the picnic on a nearby farm - and end up looking straight down the barrels of a rifle being wielded by Australia's answer to Tony Martin.

"Git orf moy laaaand", he growls, as a flock of sheep worry in the distance. However, when he realises that Jack is a cop, he fires a warning shot into the air before leaping back into his truck and making a quick exit.

Much to Martha's dismay, Jack gives chase - and by the time he gets back to the picnic site, she's nowhere to be found. Later that evening, Jack arrives home under the misapprehension that Martha has retuned under her own steam - when she's actually been left stranded in the bush.

And unless she decides to make a makeshift searchlight by reflecting moonbeams from her massive gnashers, we expect she'll be out there for quite some time…

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