Oh, come on. Every living creature from the earwig up saw that one coming. And your average amoeba probably had an inkling about it too.Yep, we're talking about Hugh checking out Rachel's fertility the old-fashioned way - something that her husband is both unwilling and unable to do.After being driven home by the foul stench of Hugh's morning breath, Rachel gets back into the swing of things by bickering with Kim over the breakfast table. The milk promptly turns as sour as Anne Robinson with toothache. That afternoon, Hugh approaches Rachel and puts his heart on the line. "There's no doubt in my mind that we should be together", he gurns. "I love you, Rach, and you are too afraid to admit the same." However, a few mawkish montages later, Rachel leaves our dishy doctor with no punt for his pant pole. That's right - she's going to stay with Kim. There's mileage in this storyline yet. Gaffe and Kim Kim, meanwhile, has his own problems. Ever since Matilda told him that Kit would like to drag him into the bush and get knocked up all over again, he's been avoiding her like Cassie avoids pies. However, today they're both scheduled to take Archie to the baby clinic - and the pair of them end up being forced to - heavy sigh - talk about their feelings. (How we long for another exploding wedding reception.)

"What she said is true", Kit admits. "I am in love with you, and I have been for a long time." Forty-five minutes later, once Kim has stopped looking even more gormless than the month-old child in the pram, he reveals that he's got confused feelings for her too.

However, despite this, he's going to stick it out with Rachel and submit you all to god knows how many more months of will-they-won't-they. Don't pretend you don't love it, though. Lucas sticks his oar in What do you mean, you wouldn't want to spend your precious X-Box time piddling about lacquering a knackered old rowing boat with your guilt-tripped and overbearing father?

OK, OK, we guess we can see your point. The idea doesn't appeal to Lucas, either. However, Ric soon grows tired of his mate's attitude and gives him a verbal wedgie.

As far as Ric's concerned, Tony has really been through the mill of late and deserves to be cut a bit of slack. "He's just trying to hang on to what he has left", he harrumphs. "You should be surprised that he's still standing, not trying to knock him down."

Ric's probably the only person who can say such things to Lucas, so it's good to see that his words have an effect. Eventually he turns up at the boat and offers to lend a hand.

Tony cracks a bottle of champagne against it's bow before officially naming it as the HMS Clumsy Metaphor. He doesn't really, of course, but he may as well.

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