Ah, the sound of silence. Enjoy it while you can, because Kim and Rachel are about to start bickering again. It's their first appointment at the fertility clinic, you see, and Rachel has some questions. "How does the actual process work?" she asks. Well, Rachel, when a man and a woman love each other very much... they end up getting another man to provide them with enough gametes to help them along their way to parenthood. Kim doesn't want just any bloke to be the sperm donor, though. "It could end up being a serial killer for all we know", he protests. "Well this doesn't mean the child's going to be", Rachel replies. This is Home and Away though, love, so yes it probably does. Perhaps it would be better to ask a friend for his help, but who will Kim ask to crack one off in their honour? Don't say you don't already know...A bitter pill to swallowThose growling and mewling noises you can suddenly hear are being made by a leopard that's desperately trying to change its spots. And failing. You see, long-term Home and Away viewers will remember when Alexei Poulos was knocking back steroids like they were Smarties.So, no, you shouldn't be too surprised that he's taken it a step further and started trafficking prescription meds - although the fact that he was using his sister as a mule startles us somewhat. Anyway, it looks as though Alex might need to start dropping some of his stash himself when his buyer pulls out of the deal. An old acquaintance named Rob turns up unexpectedly and buys some of Alex's supply, but Brad oversees them haggling and even catches Rob trying to break into his caravan the next day.

It looks as though Alex is going to need a safer place to hide his hoard, and he soon finds somewhere at Leah's place that's dark, cavernous and unlikely to be explored by the police.

No, we're not talking about his sister's mouth - we mean the chimney. And we're sure that a pair of nosy young boys such as Ryan and VJ will never find the pills there...

The beachside donor

Hugh, for it is he, would prefer to keep his fluids to himself quite frankly. And after he's sent Kim packing, he tracks Rachel down and launches into the kind of hissy fit rarely seen outside Jade Goody's front room.

Rachel apologises profusely; she would never have asked him anyway and is appalled that Kim took it upon himself to do so. And she's floored by what Hugh has to say in response. "Maybe, deep down, you want me to father your child", he sneers.

"Just work out what you want before you bring a child into the world for the wrong reasons." Ouch. Anyway, the whole sorry saga comes to a head when Rachel asks Kim to tell her the bitter truth. "Is your heart really in this?" she asks. "No, I don't think it is", he replies. Pffft - we could have told her that.

But at least she's heard it from the horse's mouth. One question remains, though, which is: where do they go from here?

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