Every woman every man, join the Caravan of Love (proprietor: Naomi Preston). Half of Summer Bay High (the male half) seems to be doing just that when Lucas tips up at the caravan park. Unlikely as it is that Lucas could fight off a gang of testosterone-addled lads single-handedly, this is what he manages to do - and a shaken Naomi is grateful. "This doesn't change anything", Lucas informs her, before making himself scarce. Naomi faces more fire from the Holden clan when Jack tells her to leave town, but she makes it clear that she's staying put. "If it was your career on the line," she shrieks, "would you let a bunch of narrow-minded idiots stop you from defending yourself?" It's a fair point, we guess, but Jack reminds her that it's not just about her needs. He thinks she ought to concentrate on doing the right thing by Luc. Later, having taken these words on board, Naomi hands in her resignation before heading back to the city. But don't think you've seen the last of her...Ric makes someone's motor runSo, Matilda, describe the woman who you think Ric is having it away with on the side. "Some blonde who drove a gold car", she sneers, trying to make her supposed love rival sound as wanton as possible. Kit can't believe that Ric's gone out and found himself a new woman, and encourages Matilda to talk to him. However, a confused Mattie hangs back - and it's left to Kit to have a word.

It's all completely innocent, of course; Matilda feels suitably foolish when she realised that the woman was a jeweller, who resized Beth's engagement ring in exchange for having her car fixed. It's nice, for once, to hear about a relationship in Home and Away that's actually entirely innocent.

You must be kidding

Kim and Rachel are treating themselves to a night in the kind of hotel that makes the Burj Al-Arab look like Fawlty Towers. Well, as ways to put spice into a relationship go, it sure beats a swift bunk-up in a caravan - doesn't it Tony? Anyway, while Kim's mind is too crammed with thoughts of Kit for any naughtiness, Rachel is still distracted by her feelings for Hugh. But despite this, Rachel is determined to resurrect their relationship.

It's a shame, then, that she buggers it all up by suggesting that they start trying for a baby. We think they'll have a tough job, seeing as though a recent bout of mumps left Kim as seedless as a net of jaffa oranges, but what do we know.

Kim is horrified at the thought of having two different babies to two different mothers, but Rachel can't wait to spread the news. A shocked Kit retaliates with an announcement of her own: she's going to take baby Archie and do a Naomi (that's leave town, not sleep with Kim's dad).

Tagged in