Never mind stopping traffic, a glance at Martha causes riots in girlie bars. Ric and Jack lunge for the stage in outrage when they see her winding and grinding up there. Cam slings them out while Martha flees backstage in floods of tears. “What’s granddad going to say when he finds out?” she wails. All the stags are up in arms. I mean, it’s one thing for girls to dance around poles for their entertainment, but quite another for one of their girls to do it! Ric and Jack approach Cam with fisticuffs and death threats (almost), while Sal pleads with Martha through a very much shut door to come home again. Although she’s crying inside, the campaign to save Martha from the darkside has the unwelcome effect of making Martha even more determined to dance. “If you don’t like it, stay out of my life.” She’s an independent woman now.Bride DoomAmanda’s wedding day gets off to a shaky start when she catches Peter in the living room. What terribly bad luck! “It’s never bad luck seeing you,” Peter giggles. He’s all nervous and excited, gushing to Drew about how lucky he is to have found Amanda. How little he knows. Anyway, the big day is here and the Bay is fluttering with anticipation. Amanda can’t stop squeaking with excitement; Kelli’s bursting at the salmon-pink satin seams for other reasons; and Ethan oversees the wedding preparations with an evil smile plastered across his face.Panic At The AlterAmanda totters down the stairs looking resplendent and not unlike a big twinkly meringue. The guests take their places and the Mand glides radiantly down the aisle, gazing lovingly at Peter. It’s all so perfect, we’re fighting back the tears. The happy couple exchange mushy vows while Kelli smirks in the background. It’s not till confetti time that things start to go wrong. As the applause subsides, one single, slow clap can be heard. Ethan is ambling up to the altar, whooping. Amanda panics as Ethan instructs the guests to look under their chairs for his wedding gift. There are murmurs of “Oh, that’s disgusting,” as the blood drains from Mandy’s peachy cheeks. Everyone’s got a copy of the photo of Amanda tucked up in bed with Ethan. A more unwelcome wedding gift cannot be imagined.

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