You know it’s been a good party when the cops are on your doorstep the morning after. Martha shuffles down the hallway with a beast behind her eyes and opens the front door to a stern-looking Jack, who informs her that the diner has been trashed by her lovely friends. Leah’s livid; her £10 000 coffee machine is completely mangled, but not even her bleating can raise an apology from this strumpet. Martha marches her beating brain upstairs. She just can’t escape these stuffy grown-ups. Everyone has a good old blether about Martha’s recent behaviour and comes to the conclusion that Cam’s monster eyebrow is to blame. They have to eat their words, though, because Cam slithers down the stairs and plonks a cheque for £10 000 in Leah’s hands, a loan until her insurance comes through. Everyone’s baffled. “I knew he’d come good in the end,” Colleen crows. What is he up to?Cam-a-lotMartha heads out for a breath of fresh air and bumps into Jack on the beach. Gentle Jack seems to have the magic touch when it comes to the Marth, because she actually listens to him when he suggests she hasn’t been herself lately. “The Martha I know would never turn her back on her friends,” Jack croons, putting an arm round her shoulders. Cam’s watching it all from outside the flat. When Martha returns, thinking things over, and asks Cam for some space, he has a word. “I wanna know what you said to her. She’s my girlfriend mate,” Cam pants, getting in Jack’s face. He twists the knife, saying he knows why all these women keep leaving Jack. “It’s not my fault you’re not man enough to keep them both satisfied.” Jack loses his rag and lamps him. Cam reports an edited version back to Martha – “He said you’re stupid…” – who hits the roof. She flounces off to inform a sheepish Jack that she doesn’t need him protecting her, then curls up in Cam’s hairy arms. “Why can’t they see that you’re the best thing that’s happened to me?” Because he's a schmuck?

Busted

Dopey James is ever so pleased when Kit asks him to be her birthing coach, but Kim’s stewing about being edged out of the arrangement. Kit explains that it makes more sense – James is her boyfriend after all – while Rachel encourages him to keep his chin up.

She knows what it’s like to be fifth wheel, and wants everyone to get along; she decides to invite Kit and James round for a cosy meal. Kim’s just not convinced about James, and who could blame him when he catches him chatting to a local drug dealer, and later waxing lyrical about Neapolitan ice cream?

While Rachel gets busy in the kitchen that evening, Kim pops next door to borrow some balsamic vinegar. There’s no one around, so Kim takes the opportunity to rifle through James’ bag. He’ll expose the little gallah if it’s the last thing he does – only Kim’s the one left looking like a crook when Kit and James walk in. Oops.

Tagged in