How old are you? Blimey, you don't look it. But imagine taking the number of years you've spent on god's green earth and then spending the same amount of time in the slammer for a crime you didn't commit. Ric, you see, has just been given 18 years for murdering Rocco and everybody has got something to say about it. "Ric will be 36 when he gets out", cries Colleen, as Sally's crystal collection shatters into a million pieces. "The best years of his life, all gone." Quite. Because, frankly, there won't be any fun to be had where Ric's ended up - especially now that Johnny has been transferred to the same prison. "Thought it'd be nice to give you a bit of a welcome party", Johnny sneers, as he and his hairy-armpitted acolytes surround him in the courtyard. The prison governor, who has a head like a hard boiled egg with a face painted onto it and a fantastic Kath and Kim "look at moiiieee" accent, breaks it up before making an announcement about drugs within the prison. A stash has been found - and it's clear that he thinks Johnny and his gang had something to do with it. Ric notes this with interest, but he's soon persuaded to keep his bugle out. "We have our own rules in this place", barks Johnny, as Ric's mouth goes all dry and clacky. That night, after one of Johnny's mates gets hauled away for stashing drugs in his shoe, Ric awakes in his cell to see the panto villain himself standing over him. "I've got a bone to pick with you", he doesn't lisp, in a John Inman voice. Instead, he advances menacingly towards poor Ric - who has no way out of what will probably become a severe beating. The best years of his life indeed. Boys' talk

The inner Guy Ritchie comes out of Macca, Tony and Brad as they probe Alf on what prison was like when he was banged up. Alf admits that it was tough, but nothing compared to what Ric must be experiencing in maximum security. "They can be brutal", he whispers. Unfortunately, Matilda overhears every word and lets out a squeak of anguish. Everybody rushes to offer comfort as she continues to berate herself for supposedly causing Ric's predicament. Meanwhile, Belle, Lucas and Drew head into the Surf Club for a game of pool - but their mood is equally subdued. Drew gets a bit of a cob on when he has to sit and watch Lucas comforting Belle; he wishes it were him. And there's a moment of weirdness when Belle and Drew's fingers brush and a cup of juice gets dropped. With all that's transpired today, Belle decides that she just can't deal with her feelings for Drew right now. She decides to leave, with Lucas in hot pursuit, as she reminds herself of which boy she should be turning to. Martha bottles it

We know Martha isn't drinking for two, but she's certainly acting like it. In fact, it's like she's drinking for a dozen. After polishing off a bottle of vodka nicked from the Surf Club storeroom, she bumps into a concerned Sam - who immediately passes the details of Martha's somewhat refreshed state onto Jack. When he finds her, he asks her if she needs to talk. Well, she might need to, but she certainly doesn't want to.

And when Jack has a pop at her for drinking while pregnant, Martha cracks and brusquely informs him that she had an abortion. Jack is stunned. Later, he can't stop thinking about her predicament (much to Sam's chagrin). Although Sam smiles as Jack heads off to check on her, she can't help but feel uneasy about her boyfriend running off to spend time with his future ex-wife.

Martha, whose teeth are so white that she could read a book in the dark, is not pleased to see him and is fed up with having to justify her actions. "I wasn't ready to have a baby", she spits. "So I did the right thing and got rid of it." She turns around to see that Alf and Sally have come down the stairs and heard every word. Blimey, that building could use some sound-proofing. Couldn't it?


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