People we don't want tipping up on Episode Guide's doorstep include men who try and bully us into switching gas suppliers; serial-killing Avon ladies; Colleen Smart (in any capacity); and people who want to nick our better halves. So pity poor old Peter when he opens the door to discover Ethan standing there. He waves around an invoice for the engagement party catering while making lascivious comments about Peter's fiancée. Peter is horrified when he hears that Ethan asked Amanda out and that she didn't mention it; Kelli stirs the pot by very deliberately keeping out of it. "If you can't grow up and get past this", hisses Amanda, "there is not much point us planning a wedding." "Considering your track record with marriage," Peter barks back, "it's probably a good idea." With her ego bruised, Mandy heads down to the Surf Club bar where she gets over it thanks to a few glasses of chardonnay. By no coincidence, Ethan is there too - and he soon wins Amanda over using that dreaded combination of a bucketful of charm and a sachetful of rohypnol.The next morning, she wakes up underneath one of those L-shaped duvet covers they only have on telly - and right next to Ethan! The gasp of horror she lets out is almost as loud as ours. What has Ethan just done? And how much more warped are Kelli's games going to get?Baby talk There's a rather less awkward start to the day over at the Hunter house. When Jack and Tony tell Sam that she and Rory are welcome to move in with them on a permanent basis, she's absolutely thrilled. (Yeah that's all very nice, love, but don't get too settled - you're not in the opening credits yet.) She and Tony have not long gone when Martha arrives with a face of disgrace. Jack is stunned to hear that she's pregnant to Ash, and not only because the two of them had about as much sexual chemistry as Liza Minnelli and David Gest. Bizarrely, he reckons she should have the sprog. But Martha thinks otherwise. "I don't want to have a child to a man I don't love!", she yowls. "That's not how I want to start a family." Although Jack gives her some food for thought, Martha makes an appointment to have an abortion and has the op before she has to lose another night's sleep over it. That evening, she lounges on the sofa while ruining one of Sally's favourite cushions with her running mascara. It wasn't meant to turn out quite like this, was it?

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