Honestly. This programme has more sexual tension than a bunch of nymphomaniacs in a slinky factory. Forget Hugh and Rachel, and Kim and Kit, and Alf and Colleen - because Jack and Martha are still pussyfooting around each other like the last two virgins at the school dance. Martha pretends to be delighted when she hears that her ex-hubby has a new girlfriend; however, her attempt at smiling makes her look as though she's got the Hoover Dam in her mouth. She insists on meeting this new woman at dinner that evening. The problem is, though, that Cody - for that is her stupid name - stood Jack up on their first date and hasn't returned his calls since.Rather than tell the truth, Jack gets Lucas to call him so he can pretend that it's Cody on the line. "She can't make it", he sighs, as Martha fights the urge to walk around the apartment with her fists in the air. Of course, Gnashers MacKenzie eventually discovers that the wool is being pulled over her eyes - and she and Jack share what auntie might call a "moment" when he leaves.House invaders Forget sex for a moment, please, if you can. You see, the air is also brimming with a very different kind of tension. Drew, who is the buffest front end of a pantomime horse that the world has ever seen, is currently spending most of his time snorting surliness through his equine nostrils. He's missing his dopey mate Jules, see, and he's taking it out on his makeshift parents. Dan and Leah, meanwhile, have been fighting back by nagging him about dropping out of school, not getting a job, not tidying up after himself, and not picking up his hooves when he walks. So it comes as a relief to all parties when Belle takes the reins and asks Drew to follow her down to the beach. However, Drew has a "better" idea - which is to take advantage of Amanda's empty house and use the pool.

A reluctant Belle eventually agrees, and Cassie tags along too. But when they arrive, they discover that somebody has got there before them - and the intruder is eventually unmasked as Jules.

He's been there a week and he looks like he stinks, but Belle still agrees to let him crash there for a few days. And after Dan and Drew have another set-to, Summer Bay's latest squatter ends up with a brand new flatmate.


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