J has told John that he is not a cheater but worries what he would do if he met another women. J explained that he has been with his girlfriend for more than four years but that in that time he has broken it off four or five times.
John asked him whether he had a girlfriend and he explained:
“Yes I have. I’ve got someone. I’ve known her for the best part of four and a bit years but it’s been quite on and off at times, with sort of me not knowing what I want to do with myself.”
John asked: “Is she waiting for you to go and find your next one, your next thing? Is she kicking you up the arse and stuff?
J said: “In a subtle way she’s a mellow easy going person. She knew I had to have the time really but recently she’s been kind of going, ‘you’ve got to do something’. But I have messed her about quite a bit. Not purposely, but just not knowing what I want to do relationship wise.
He added: “When you’re in your thirties everything starts to get a bit more serious.”
“We’ve been together on and off for four and a bit years. I think I’ve knocked it on the head for or five times for quite a few months at a time then I come back with my tail between my legs and she’s brilliant, takes me back, forgives me.
“I don’t do anything when I go off. I think one time in India I had a bit of a thing with someone, but it’s not that I run off because I want to do something with someone else. I just get to a point when I’m like I don’t know if I want to be in something serious.
He explained: “When you’re a guy and you’re with someone you start panicking, even though I’m with a lovely women who’s absolutely fucking lovely you start thinking there’s lovely women out there.
“I’ve cheated once in all my years of relationships, which I’ve regretted wholeheartedly. I would never do again. I’m not a cheater. I wouldn’t kind of go and do something. You start thinking if I do want to have a dabble somewhere else, I would have to end there and it all gets a bit complicated in my mind.
“Sometimes I think it would be a lot simpler if I had the cheating gene somewhere within me just have a little bit of a dabble and then come back.”