After Colin left yesterday, it’s time for another update from the jungle for anyone who missed last night’s action.
COLIN HAS GONE - MORNING STORY
Fed up with the swearing in the camp, Rosemary challenged the other celebrities to watch their words even just for the day. In return, Colin asked her not to sing or shout.
“For me it’s going to be horrible, I don’t shout that loud.” With that she went around singing loudly “wake up, wake up you sleepy heads, come on get out of bed.”
Helen, roused from her sleep, said: “Alright Rosemary, chill out!”
The former Ladette to Lady star was reminded of her promise. “She did last about 20 minutes to be honest but that’s Rosemary, she does sing and shout,” said Eric. “You were the one who then broke the promise,” he added.
As Ant and Dec arrived in the camp to reveal the results of the head to head challenge, Rosemary said: “ Colin wants to go but probably not like this, because at this stage everyone wants to stay.”
All were upset to see him go. Rosemary said: “He was the nicest man, the gentlest soul, the most caring person and he took no stick either which I liked. He’ s going to be so missed, he and I bonded quite well.”
Helen added: “He was so kind to me, when I was struggling with my trials at the beginning he was really, really nice.”
After they had waved Colin off, Helen and Hugo both told Eric they were so glad he hadn’t gone. “And me, another day, another dollar, tomorrow it will be me, Helen or Charlie who will leave and I’ve been right every time so far,” said Eric.
PRE TRIAL
Ashley announced to the camp that the next trial would be called Cruelty Towers. “That’s the same one I did. I have already done it so I thought in my head, I can do this,” said Helen.
Charlie was not happy for her to take on the trial: “Let’s think about dinner and no offence but she didn’t do it the first time and I’m not sure you’ll do it again”
The celebrities asked Helen to explain what the trial involved - a row of dark rooms with animals in each and to get the stars you have to face bug drops.
Rosemary was first to volunteer but said that as they needed food it was probably better for someone else as she’s not good in the dark. Ashley concurred.
It was agreed that David would be sent to bring home the bacon and he took Rosemary and Eric to walk him to the bridge.
CRUELTY TOWERS – BUSH TUCKER TRIAL
David arrived at the Trial and was told what was in store by hosts Ant & Dec.
When asked why he agreed to do it, David replied, “Helen said it was loads of fun and I’d love it.”
Dec joked, “Helen had lots of fun when she was here last time. All five seconds of it!”
David was told, that inside were five rooms, one reception room and four bedrooms. He had to make his way through the whole tower and collect the seven stars available.
However, he wouldn’t be the only guest checking in, he would be joined by a host of jungle critters, which included, snakes, spiders and a crocodile.
He was then told, that in two of the Cruelty Towers rooms, he would have to remove the light bulb to collect one of the stars and would be plunged into darkness. He would only be able to search for the second star once the room was dark. He was given a torch to help him on his search.
The final room contained a surprise and he would have ten minutes to complete the Trial, two minutes in each room.
David entered the first room and was unfazed by the ostrich that occupied the reception area. He quickly removed the lightbulb and got the first star which prompted critters to fall. He moved behind the reception desk to the pigeon holes and found the second star.
Next up was one of the bedrooms which contained 12 snakes. David searched the first set of draws, removed the pillow and slowly lifted the covers on the bed which held a host of various snakes. He quickly navigated round to the other side of the bed and found the next star in the bedside cabinet.
Moving into the next room, David was greeted by a crocodile who was laying on the bed. He had to remove one star from the light which plunged the room into darkness.
Advised by Ant and Dec that he should use the torch, David continued to remain calm and unfazed. As he hunted for the second star he said, “What’s the bet its under its head.” He slowly lifted the pillow and found the star.
Confidently he stroked the crocodile and said, “He’s not too bad” but then added, “If he’d started to move about I would have pooped myself.”
In the next room was over 50 spiders. He quickly and calmly found the next star. As he made his way to the final room he said, “I’m thinking you’ve saved the best until last.”
As he opened the door he was greeted by offal and flies. Using his hands he hunted for the star. Promised a surprise, the roof of the room was edging down making the space smaller. Struggling to find the star and with the time ticking, he said, “come on star. I need you baby.”
Time ran out and David had to leave the room empty handed. He said afterwards, “That was disgusting.”
Told he had won six out of seven meals for camp, the champion boxer added, “I did my best, a lot of losers say that. Definitely by far the worst room I’ve been in and I’ve been in some crappy rooms in my time.”
Asked by Ant & Dec if he was surprised Helen didn’t complete it, he said, “ She’s a little squeamish we know that so i can understand why she didn’t do it.” And added, “It is do-able.”
POST TRIAL
The camp have come up with a way to ensure they get at least some meals every night.
David was disappointed that he couldn’t win a meal for everyone. “I regard that as a big juicy loss, I didn’t think there was anything that this jungle could throw at me that I couldn’t do but how wrong was I?”
Welcomed back by the remaining celebrities, David told how he’d got 6 out of the 7 possible stars. “The last room was covered in three layers of rotting meat and I tried to move the meat which was covered in all the maggots and I couldn’t find the star and ran out of time.”
While Rosemary sympathised with how awful the trial must have been, David said: “I’ve had better experiences on my hands and knees! “
Helen, who only got one star when she attempted Cruelty Towers said: “It sounds pretty hard core to me so I was pleased to take a back seat.”
With Helen out of earshot Charlie said: “Helen wants to do another trial, what do we do?”
David suggested that for fairness, those who wanted to take part volunteered and then the other celebrities voted who should do it, this was agreed by the other celebrities.
APPRECIATION SOCIETY
Ashley was having a chat with Charlie about their personal experiences on the show. Charlie said: “Every day I have thought I can’t do this, I thought I would be really anxious about the cameras and my insecurities would come out because I doubt myself occasionally but today I feel like I have learned to trust in myself I wasn’t sure how it would affect me being watched all the time on a show like this, but actually I’ve learned that I am stronger than what I thought I was. “
Ashley agreed: “What a crazy journey this has been. My life coach said the same thing because I tend to isolate myself quite a lot at home and she said that this would be an experience for you just to be you and be comfortable with people and yes you do feel more comfortable in your own skin. I really surprised myself, I’ve learned so many things, when my family actually gets to watch this show in America they are not going to believe it is me. there have been times when I have thought I am going out of my mind and I was going to lose it and other time like this which are so amazing It’s just a roller coaster ride.”
“Even being more open with my family, I need to open up a little bit more.”
Hugo said that it would bring him closer to his family too. ”If I can open up to all of you then I should communicate more with my family, we can pass in the hall or speak on the phone and it is just very generic."
Ashley: “When I get home I am going to talk to my Dad. This experience has shown me that I need to open up and communicate more with my family, me and my Dad, we were really close for a while and then we’ve been distant lately and I think that when I get back I’m going to make an effort to call him more and talk to him more and let him know that I love him.”
BOOBS!
Helen changed into a leopard print bra top which had an eye popping effect on her cleavage. Ashley walked passed her and squeezed her boobs playfully and exclaimed: “Gazunga woop!”
“Does this look like a bikini top? Do you think I can get away with it? ’she asked Charlie. “Erm...well I suppose it does.”
In the Bush Telegraph Charlie said: “ The bra that seems to have elevated and enhanced her breasts by about four sizes, I mean, bitch! I am just jealous,” she laughed.
Hugo asked her whose bikini top she was wearing. “It’s huge, you look enormous”.
Astonished by the size of her cleavage, Ashley said: “Your tits look freaking gi-normous. they look huge I mean wow! As Ashley went in for another feel, Hugo decided to tell the truth. “It looks a bit silly, if you want my honest opinion. If you like big bazonkas in your face then they are pretty hard to miss.”
Seeing her reflection in the Bush Telegraph, Helen said: “Ooh they do look a bit big to be honest, I didn’t actually realise, oh dear, maybe I think I will change they do look a bit ridiculous.”
Helen then revealed that her boobs grow every time she eats dinner. “ Seriously, I go up a cup size when I eat after dinner and then it goes down again later.”
Ashley, “I wish I did that I would eat all the time! I would be snacking all day oooh.”
RUMPY PUMPY
Ashley was surprised when Rosemary told her that she’d been separated for 20 years and didn’t have a partner and advised her to get back in the game.
“Well you need to get out there honey, it’s been a solid 20 years since Rosemary has rumpy pumpied and I’m trying to inspire this senorita to get back out there and get in the game - 20 years, not Ok, things shut off, needs to be used!”
Rosemary was talking to Ashley while the pair were down at the creek and she said older women need romance just like everyone else.
“It’s so funny because they always think that when you are older you have lost romance and lost you know, when you want to have a little bit of rumpy pumpy. Everybody loves a little bit of rumpy pumpy but the thing is that it gets less when you get older. Women still feel quite sexual, I mean why not?I think it is incredibly important for people to know that older women still want a bit of romance, your needs are slightly different when you get older but you still want to be wooed”.
Ashley, tickled by her rumpy pumpy expression told her: “You are going to come out of here with a figure honey and you better use it - rumpy pumpy for Rosemary on the outside! the time is now , you have got to unleash the dragon and get all that fluid going around your body. Get things going.”
Rosemary told Ashley that she was 21 and engaged when she gave birth to her daughter. “It was a whoopsie, but it was acceptable as we were engaged.”
Ashley said she’d been blessed with no whoopsies, “I need to find a guy first.”
Later in the Bush Telegraph, Rosemary said: “My chat with Ashley down at the pond was really interesting because she’s a clever girl - we are very similar in a lot of ways.”
HUGO & ROSEMARY ROW
It was little things causing a stir in camp as Hugo and Rosemary had a heated debate stunning their fellow campmates into silence.
The row had started after Hugo had commented that the leaves could be the culprit in making the water on the fire taste bad. He suggested that because they pour the dirty water on the leaves around camp and then place the leaves on the fire this could be affecting the boiling water.
Rosemary however disagrees “no, no no, that’s not why they smell they’re just smelly leaves.” She then said to Hugo, “you’re very chirpy to day what’s the matter?”
When Hugo replied that she was “annoying him”, Rosemary then added, “You’re getting quite irritable and there’s no need for it. I don’t like it, you being rude. Stop.”
Hugo responded, “You completely disregarded what I was saying. I’m trying to have a conversation like an adult there’s no need to talk to me like a child. I was saying that as a theory. You completely cut me off and was saying ‘no, no’. How about just saying ‘Hugo that’s interesting, I don’t think that’s right’ instead of just saying, ‘no, no.’”
Rosemary disagreed and added, “I’m really quite cross with you, you’re being rude.” Hugo apologised but Rosemary continued, “Every time I give you an answer you question it and I’m not having it.”
With the subject back on the water, Hugo said, “This is what I’m talking about, you don’t take anyone else’s opinion, your opinion is always the most important.”
Hugo apologised saying he did not want to upset her feelings. “You’ve not upset my feelings I just want you to stop,” replied Rosemary.
As the stunned and silent camp mates looked on, Hugo said, “Stop talking to me like a child. You’re acting like my mother and I don’t appreciate it.” Rosemary said, “Maybe I am because I’m a mother and a grandmother.
Hugo responded, “That’s why I said sorry and you shot me down, just be like Hugo I forgive you.” The chef then demanded that he should “ have a little bit more respect.”
A despondent Hugo then replied, “I have plenty of respect, I just sometimes find that you’re authoritative, commanding, domineering ‘no’s’ are a bit oppressive. You shoot people down quite a lot with your opinions. You don’t allow much room for discussion”.
An exasperated Rosemary replied, “Well that’s a little bit rude. You are so wrong. I give so much and all I’ve done is try to advise you. I’ve just had enough from you. You don’t like anybody to say something to you. Don’t be so nasty. You have to tread on eggshells with you to make sure Hugo’s happy. “
Whilst the pair admit that the disagreement was amusing, it rumbled on, and Rosemary continued, “You see me as an authority figure and you don’t like it. Maybe it’s time you grew up and we all have to listen and learn from elders.”
Hugo responded, “I’ve always had a problem with authority Rosemary. Every time we do cooking I listen I take your instructions to a tea and I have done the whole time I’ve been here.”
Rosemary then suggested they call a truce, but added, “Will you do me a favour me a favour
Hugo will you just listen please a little bit. It’s not getting at you. It’s just if you ask a question I will answer to the best of my ability.
Hugo in return asked that Rosemary let others make mistakes, and added, “I don’t ever appreciate being spoken down to, it’s not something I relish and you do it a bit too often”
Rosemary replied, “It doesn’t hurt to be told once in your life actually. You act sometimes very spoilt. We don’t all walk around like a petulant little boy.”
A bewildered Hugo then asked, “Are you trying to wind me up Rosemary. You’re calling me a petulant child now. Rosemary you’re igniting my passion for argument.”
Hugo apologised, and Rosemary suggested they “call it a day.”
As Hugo sat talking to Charlie, Eric and Helen, the darts champion commented, “She (Rosemary) won’t back down she won’t admit that she’s wrong, she just talks down to people.”
Laughing, Eric continued, “You did well. You’ve learnt a lot in nineteen days. Day two you would have went bang, you would have flipped. It just shows you how far you have come in nineteen days. She thinks a hug goes a long way. She calls you a tw*t and give you a hug.”
DINGO DOLLARS CHALLENGE GNOMES
Ashley and Helen were chosen for the Dingo Dollars Challenge which saw the pair in gnome couture complete with red hats, white beards and goggles sitting on toadstools.
They arrived at a pond and were told to start fishing to net the bag of dollars. Helen had to pull the fish from the stinking waters while Ashley opened the lobster pot. “It stinks really bad, we’ll be stinky little senoritas, it smells like a rhinos butt hole,” said Ashley. “It was gnome couture and we looked ridiculous.”
Helen used her over-hand swing to get the fish in the pot . “Do I look glamorous babe?” helen asked Ashley, “I wouldn’t say this is our finest hour,” Ashley replied.
Slipping and sliding off the toadstools in the rotting water, the pair eventually managed to get all the fish in the basket but then the dollars bag fell into the quagmire so they had to root around and eventually pull it out.
Down at the camp, the celebrities correctly answered the question about how many toilet rolls they gone through since they arrived in camp and were given salt and pepper to season their food as their reward.
DINNER
It was the calm after the storm as the camp mates, still recovering from the early spat between Rosemary and Hugo, tucked into kangaroo tail.
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