Lynne’s real life was much funnier than how it was portrayed in the TV comedy Absolutely Fabulous, she told her fellow celebrities.
Biggins had bounced into Croc Creek flashing a laminate which asked the celebrities to sit around the fire and tell their campmates their best or funniest celebrity stories.
“I was coming out of my career and at that time, everyone in my industry, fashion and PR, was watching this show which was supposedly based on me, so the thing that was so strange was to see this parody of my life, which was hysterically funny, and seeing scenes in there that were that near to reality but even reality surpassed them.”
Janice sat looking bored while Lynne continued her story.
“For example when she’s in the supermarket on a budget and she’s stood there wanting everyone to fill her trolley for her, or parking up on the pavement outside Harvey Nichols, or giving staff instructions on the mobile phone as she’s walking into the door of the office.
“Another one was the phrase ‘chanting as I speak’. I was a Buddhist in those days and the TV character was one for a few seconds too. The Buddhist organisation that I belonged to in America at that time had badges made up saying ‘I’m chanting as I speak’.
“There were so many funny scenes that were just these reflections of my own life. At the time I squirmed but when I look back now it was such fun. So I suppose that was an unusual experience to see a parody of you life on TV every week and to know the real stories were even funnier.”
John told how one evening he was cooking as a head chef for a very famous chef in England: “On a particular evening they were cooking a fillet steak with very precise garnishes there was a table of about six and we sent the steaks out as part of a five course menu and they all came back because everyone wanted them well done. The chef told me to ‘kill them’ so I took the steaks took the butter off and the garnishes off, the pressure was on and I dunked them in the fire, re garnished them, covered them in the béarnaise sauce and at the end of the meal the guy left me a 250 pounds tip saying it was the best meal he’d ever had.”
Cerys: “I was asked to perform a duet with the Pogues in Cardiff. It was Fairytale of New York and I was thrilled to do it but I never met Shane McGowan, I rehearsed with the band and we then got on stage and did the duet with Shane, he was looking into my eyes and we were singing and dancing and the audience were waving away their mobile phones in the air. I was buzzing and when the Pogues came off stage I went into Shane’s dressing room and said hello, and he turned to his partner and he said: ‘who’s that? Chuck her out!” He didn’t recognise me, his partner had to say, ‘that’s Cerys!’”
Anna remembered how she went on a Jonathan Ross game show with Noddy Holder: “For some reason I thought it was cool to wear pink pvc leatherette trousers and matching waistcoat and I thought I was hot. I had quite a lot of drink in the green room and then I went onto a club afterwards and carried on drinking and then I just remember Noddy walking in I threw my legs up into the air wide apart and shouted ‘It’s Christmas!’, that’s not what he wants to hear, ever, and then when I went to the loo later on I had a hole in my trousers. I only hope it was dark enough he couldn’t see,” she said.
Biggins recollected a time at a friend’s house in Barbados and Pavarotti was invited to dinner: “He arrived with some CDs and I offered to put them on and the hostess said ‘don’t put them on now, it won’t be right’. We were sat in this beautiful garden, quite like this funnily enough, we sat around the table and it was a great thrill having Pavarotti, one of the greatest ever, there and after about three hours he was going to go, I went upstairs and put on one of the CDs and it blared sound round the garden and it was him singing Nessun Dorma and he picked up our hostess and danced around the garden miming and it still gives me shivers to this day. “
Gemma talked about the stress of getting to one of her first Soap Awards and the story behind her getting ‘slated’ for the outfit she wore on the night. She was on a train that was severely delayed and they had to get a coach to Birmingham. They reboarded and were in the first class lounge and they had no food. “I was sat next to one of the lighting guys and I was peeling an orange and asked to borrow his knife to cut the fruit. We’d been drinking to get over the nerves, I was a bit drunk and I sliced through my finger quite badly and had to sit the journey trying not to get blood on the dress I was carrying.”
“I went to the Medicentre at the station and the woman said I needed stitches, I had to wait until I was sober until I got the stitches so I’m waiting there with my finger hanging off and then she had to inject me with local anaesthetic and I passed out and I woke up and it looked like a big Tampax on my finger. I didn’t have time to shower or anything and had to walk down the red carpet with my finger in my bandages and everyone slated me for what my outfit looked like, but I thought if they only knew what I’d been through.”
J was working in New York with the boys from the band and got up early to do a TV show.
“We were in the lobby and people were milling around getting our stuff ready, my best mate Rich wanted a cigarette and went and got one from the concierge and then needed a light. He went off to get one and came back around 40 seconds later and was absolutely fuming. He said he’d bumped into the most rude, arrogant wanker ever, he’d asked this guy for a light and he was really rude and said very derogatory comments so Rich told him to stick it. So we decided to go and find him and have a word when this guy came up behind us and said: ‘mate do you realise who that was you were just going to give some verbal grief to?’ We said no, and he told us it was Evander Holyfield, the world heavyweight champion. So we decided to leave that alone.”