Vicky Pattison found it "super cathartic" filming her new reality show.
Vicky Pattison at the NTAs
The 31-year-old star's latest programme, 'The Break Up', featured the brunette beauty opening up about her split from former fiance John Noble, and while she found parts of the show "awful" to shoot, she says it was "incredibly therapeutic".
Speaking at the National Television Awards at London's The O2, she exclusively told BANG Showbiz: "It happened exactly as it was happening. It's filmed pretty much organically, verbatim, as everything was going on.
"It was tough, but also super cathartic.
"I don't want to sound like I'm being really ignorant, but we've all had breaks, right? But you have no idea how awful it was to have to do everything with everyone watching.
"For me it was one of those things where the minute I wasn't doing 'This Morning' or I wasn't on a photoshoot the devil just made work for idle hands and I got really down.
"I thought to myself, 'I need something to focus on, I need a positive distraction. And that's where the show came in perfectly.
"I found the experience incredibly therapeutic, to focus on something creative, rather than just on how much I was heartbroken.
"I really didn't believe that that man deserved anymore of my time, so to put my energies into something as positive as the show was a really welcome outlook."
The former 'Geordie Shore' star has now vowed to return to her roots and be a "little bit sexy and mischievous" again.
She added: "I feel I'm going back to my roots a little bit. A little bit sexy, a little bit fun, a little bit mischievous."
The show was initially due to be called 'Vicky and John Said Yes' and was going to document the pair's wedding plans.
Vicky previously said: "I had already started filming a wedding special for TLC and then everything changed. It wasn't an easy decision but when I commit, I commit 100 per cent and I felt it important to continue to show the realities of my life at that tough time.
"I want people to see the real me and my real emotions, so they can understand the truth behind the headlines.
"Yes, I had my heart broken but there are more emotions to it and people for the first time will get to see that."
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