Jill Halfpenny thinks her late boyfriend Matt Janes is watching over her from beyond the grave.
![Jill Halfpenny thinks her late boyfriend Matt Janes is looking over her from beyond the grave](/image-library/partners/bang/land/1000/j/jill-halfpenny-thinks-her-late-boyfriend-matt-janes-is-looki.jpg)
Jill Halfpenny thinks her late boyfriend Matt Janes is looking over her from beyond the grave
The 48-year-old actress - who played Kate Mitchell on ‘EastEnders’ from 2002 to 2005 - lost her partner after he suffered a heart attack at the gym in 2017, but she still feels Matt’s presence wherever she goes and often sees signs that he is looking over her.
Speaking to HELLO! magazine, she said: “Yesterday, I walked straight into a white feather. It came across my eyes and I caught it.
“I live by the sea, so it’s very easy to dismiss these things. But there it was - the white feather.”
Jill also feels “connected” to Matt whenever his favourite song ‘Budapest’ - which was a hit for George Ezra - is played on the radio.
She explained: “That song seems to follow me around.
“Today, I was sitting in the dentist’s chair. I was so tense, and I just kept repeating the mantra, ‘I am safe, I am safe’, and then ‘Budapest’ came on.
“When things like this happen, it makes me feel connected, as if we’re all in constant conversation with our loved ones who have gone.
“For me, that energy and the feeling that the soul lives on and is already there to tap into, becomes a part of you. That’s comforting for me.”
The ‘Waterloo Road’ star “tried to be honest” about her grief with her 16-year-old son Harvey, who she has with ex-husband Craig Conway.
She said: “I tried to be honest with Harvey about my pain without scaring him.
“He’s amazing and I’m proud of myself for bringing him up in which a way that he doesn’t recoil if he sees an adult cry.”
Jill added people need to embrace their grief and accept it as “your friend” in order to overcome loss.
She said: “You need to talk to grief as if it’s your friend, not your enemy.
“Instead of pushing it away and being scared, you say, ‘Look, you’re here today, making your presence known. I’ve got things to do today, but come and sit down beside me.’”
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