Lisa Snowdon will "never forget" having an abortion.
Lisa Snowdon has opened up about her struggles to become a mother
The 51-year-old TV star has stood by her decision to terminate a pregnancy when she was in her because she had been "let down hugely" by the father but still thinks about what life would have been like had she carried the baby to full term.
She told the Daily Mail newspaper’s You supplement: “I stand by the fact that it [the termination] was the right decision because I've always thought that if I'm going to have a family, I want a supportive partner — who's loving, who's there — and I was with a man who wasn't the right man to have in my life. He'd let me down, hugely, wasn't even there for the first doctor's appointment [about the pregnancy]. If I'd had the baby, I'd have been connected to that man for the rest of my life. But every now and then I'd think, 'Gosh he or she would be this or that age now'. You never forget."
The 'This Morning' presenter - who is now engaged to George Smart, 44 - later found herself pregnant at the age of 41 with her now ex-boyfriend and saw the "miracle baby" as a sign she “had been forgiven” for terminating the previous pregnancy but was devastated when the pregnancy ended in miscarriage.
She said: "This time, even though the relationship wasn't perfect, I saw it as a sign from the universe — maybe from God — that I had been forgiven and I was finally going to have a baby. I was going to be a mum. I am not religious, but it was hard not to feel blessed at that moment, given the odds.”
"I rushed to the bathroom, full of panic at seeing all that blood. I didn't know what to do. We'd only just gone on air, and I knew I had to keep working.”
"I dug deep and tried to park the dread I felt in the pit of my stomach, praying that my baby would be OK. As soon as the show was finished and we were off air, I rushed to hospital and my worst fears were confirmed — the scan showed the heartbeat had stopped. My baby had died.
'To say I was devastated is an understatement; I was heartbroken, inconsolable.'"
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