Jeremy Clarkson wants to get revenge on cricketers by selling his wood to make cricket bats.
Jeremy Clarkson has big plans to get revenge on cricket
The 'Clarkson's Farm' star has revealed the land on his 1,000 acre Diddly Squat farm is ideal for growing the kind of willow trees used to make bats, and he has claimed it's the perfect venture after being forced to play cricket at school.
Writing for the Sunday Times newspaper, he said: "I see people playing it sometimes when I'm in Surrey and my lip curls in an involuntary, animalistic display of rage.
"You know how your dog behaves when it sees a stranger walking past your host? Well, that's me driving through Chiddingfold.
"But now I've worked out how I can get my own back. I'm going to take all of their money."
The former 'Top Gear' host joked he would "hurt" cricket lovers in their "wallets" as an act of revenge against the sport as a whole.
He added: "So stand by, cricketists. I'm going to hurt you, but not like you hurt me [at school].
"I'm going to hurt you in your wallets. I'm going to become the cricket bat king of Chippings Norton and I'm going to bash your credit cards until they look like Steve Martin's in 'Planes, Trains and Automobiles.' "
He insisted "demand is huge in India and Pakistan", explaining that while some players "use bats made from Kashmir willow", most people "prefer the English variety because it's lighter".
While Jeremy hated playing cricket in his schooldays, he recently complained about being "forced" to work out at a gym by his personal trainer.
He wrote in the Sunday Times last month: “I was in a gym, being forced by a man in skin-tight shorts to pick things up so I could put them down again. So my life satisfaction score was about minus a million.”
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