Jamie Laing had to "go back" to the person he was before 'Made In Chelsea'.
Jamie Laing
The 31-year-old reality TV star has opened up on being diagnosed with depersonalisation disorder - defined as having a feeling "of being outside yourself" and observing from a distance - after suffering a breakdown four years ago.
Appearing on this week's 'The Moments That Made Me' podcast, he told host Roxie Nafousi: "I had to completely change the person who I was and go back to the person who I used to be.
"The TV show had taught me that arrogance was cool, and not focusing on your friends.”
Jamie - whose struggle with the condition lasted six months - was diagnosed after suffering a breakdown during 'Made In Chelsea' filming in the south of France.
He said: "I was 27 and I was about to go and film in the South of France and I wasn’t feeling too good.
“I got my phone out and thought, who do I phone? Who are my real friends? I have a lot of friends, but who are they?”
When he returned from filming, he was left feeling "in a dream state".
He added: "I came back from the South of France and I remember sitting in a restaurant […] and it was like a cloud came over my eyes. It felt like I was in a dream state.”
Now, Jamie is happy and focused on his relationship, and he explained how his romance came after he previously expected to "settle" instead of actually finding 'the one'.
He said: "I always thought I was going to be this guy who just settled, that I would be in a relationship, I would settle, I would maybe end up cheating at some point – I just thought that was life.
"But then I found someone who I couldn’t be more compatible with, couldn’t love more, couldn’t respect more and realised, holy s***, this is actually what life is about.”
Jamie Laing appears on the latest episode of ‘The Moments That Made Me’ with Roxie Nafousi, out today, Wednesday 7 October 2020. ‘The Moments That Made Me’ is a Create Podcasts production.