Danny Dyer feared he would die if he didn't seek help after his marriage hit the rocks.
Danny Dyer's marriage to Joanne Mas went through a rough patch in 2017
The 45-year-old actor begged 'EastEnders' bosses to give him a break in 2017 so he could take time out to get his life back on track amid difficulties in his relationship with Joanne Mas.
He recalled: “I turned around to the bosses of 'EastEnders' and I said, ‘Listen, I’ve gotta go somewhere. I’m going to die’.
“They was like, ‘Oh, OK. Uh, right’. And so I sorted it myself and I paid for it myself...
“I knew I had to f****** sort myself out because I’d been — sorry about me language — I’d been a **** up to this point in the sense of what I was doing, what I was doing away from her, some of the situations I would find myself in."
“I look back and go, ‘F****** hell man, I was weak’.
“I was wounded. I was vulnerable because I was, but of course I couldn’t play vulnerable because I’m playing Danny Dyer, whatever that is."
Danny - who has children Dani, 26, Sunnie, 15, and Arty, eight, with his wife - admitted he was taking anti-anxiety medication to cope at the time.
Speaking to Jaime Winstone on her podcast 'Greatest Night Ever', he added: "So I’m a bad boy, f*****, you know, whatever. And I quite like playing it, but you know, the amount of f****** Diazepam I was on at the time, I was just munching.”
The 'Football Factory' star admitted fame had never "suited" him and he eventually lost sight of himself.
He said: “Fame never suited me. I was always f****** gonna be going down the wrong path. So I lost the plot for many years and I was a f****** lunatic.
"I became a sort of a cartoon character. I created it, don’t get me wrong. I got wrapped up in that and I sort of lost who I was, really.
“I was doing s*** loads of f****** drugs. I was searching for some-thing. There was a hole in me and I couldn’t work out what the f*** it was.”
And when he sought help, Danny wanted a facility that would leave his ego "broken down" so he could take back control of his own life.
He said: "OK, this is it, you’re gonna lose all this. You’re gonna be a shadow of the man that you are, you are gonna f*** everything up. You’re gonna have no relationship with your kids.
"This was my moment where I went, ‘Right’. I was just trying to f****** drag me a** over the line.
“I didn’t want fresh linen. I didn’t want a Priory-type gaff.
“I’m not knocking the Priory. I understand it. I needed to be down on a floor, scrubbing khazis and just broken down completely, because what I’ve recognised is ego.
“We need an ego. It’s very important to us, right? Because it keeps us alive. It keeps us sharp . . . you need your ego.
“But sometimes your ego starts to make decisions for you and you’ve gotta know when it’s you making decisions or your f***ing ego.”
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