Cheryl Cole can't watch herself on 'The X Factor'.
The singer found it impossible putting on a brave face during her third stint as a judge on the ITV show in 2010, when allegations were coming out all the time that her then-husband Ashley Cole had cheated on her with several women.
Asked whether she ever watches clips from that time of her life, she told the new issue of InStyle magazine: "Oh, never. different within myself and that was really hard.
"Because when you don't feel like yourself you're not acting like yourself. And that's another problem I have. I can't put an act on. It's written all over my face. I wish I could.
"It would have saved me a hell of a lot of hassle. But I can't. The last 'X Factor' series I did was hard for me. I wasn't right in my mind enough to give it everything. I wasn't strong enough mentally."
The stunning star left the UK version of Simon Cowell's talent show to be a judge on 'The X Factor' USA only to be fired after she made just three appearances in the first series in 2011.
Cheryl - who was a judge on the British series from 2008 to 2010 - has since reconciled her friendship with Simon, who has described her as "one of the most beautiful women" he's ever seen".
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