Bonnie Langford found intense fame to be "too much" early on in her career.
Bonnie Langford struggled with fame in the 1980s
The 59-year-old actress has been a mainstay on British television since starting out as a child on 'Opportunity Knocks' in the 1970s and even though she would have liked a Hollywood career, she reflected that these days she just likes to do work that she can "feel proud" of.
Speaking on the 'How to Be 60' podcast, she told 'Loose Women' anchor Kaye Adams: "I sort of had all that [fame] a bit in the 1980s, I was on everything. I was literally on everything and now looking back at that, it was too much.
"It was too much. Would I like to have made multi-million dollar movies? Yeah, that would have been nice, I don't know.
"I just keep going. I just keep going. As long as I can cover my bills and do something that I feel proud of. But there's times when I don't. I think 'Oh, that's the tax bill!' or 'Let's put that one under the carpet'."
The West End star went on to add that she used to feel comfortable in being more "open" about her personal life but over the years has found it difficult to "trust" others and while she likes to please people, she often tries to go about her day without making conversation with strangers.
She said: "I went through such a phase when I was an open-book, but that gets used and abused. And you just think 'Oh no, that's embarrassing.' I found it hard to trust people and I thought I was a bit of a joke. You don't know if people are reacting to you because they think they know you off the telly but there was a time when I thought I was on the telly more than I was at home.
"You do wonder who is seeing you for you or for what it might do for them. I found it hard to trust people.
"You're gonna get hurt by people, that happens in life anyway, but to do that when you think 'Who are they talking to? Are they talking to Bonnie Langford or are they talking to Bon?'
"I'm a real people person and I like to make people happy but I do think it's important to be authentic with people. I don't let everyone in my home. If I'm meeting someone, I'll meet them for coffee. I'm really quite private, I've got my little doggie and we walk in the park.
"I wear my sweatshirt that says 'Don't Speak to Me', which is the one I had on 'The Masked Dancer'. It's really nice having a dog because I know more about the dogs than the people I talk to. You never know the owner's name, you only know the dog's name, which is nice."
In recent years, the former 'EastEnders' star has returned to her 1980s role of Mel Bush in 'Doctor Who' and admitted that she never expected she would ever get the chance to revisit a character who she initially thought was "a bit boring and weird" the first time round.
She added: "Life never ceases to amaze me. The fact that 37 years ago I was in 'Doctor Who' and now I'm in it again. No way in hell would I have said that. It's time travel, isn't it?
"And I was terrible really in that show. It was a very different time. It was like the 'Crossroads' or the 'Acorn Antiques' for sci-fi. But it had this wonderful charm. I completely walked away from it as you would any job, you just get on with the next. And it's kept coming back to me 'Doctor Who', and now I'm just really pleased that I can be part of this new Whoniverse, as they call it.
"It really is fantastically written, produced and all those things that it didn't have before. I'm a bit nervous about it because the 'Doctor Who' fans are very passionate.
"They have very fixed opinions about what they want and what they like, and they will voice that.
"However, I get the chance to get to reinvent this character that was a bit boring and weird and earnest, a bit squeaky. Maybe we can make her a bit better, maybe we can flesh her out a little bit and make her a bit more interesting so that's always interesting."
Tagged in Kaye Adams