Ali Bastian found it "hard to say" her 'Hollyoaks' character was "completely in the wrong" while she was portraying her controversial teacher-student romance plot.
The 38-year-old star appeared as Becca Dean in the Channel 4 soap from 2001 to 2007, but the teacher ultimately met her maker in prison, after she was sent to jail for her relationship with pupil Justin Burton (Chris Fountain).
But Ali has admitted if she had judged her character while playing out the hard-hitting plot it would've been "really difficult" to portray.
She exclusively told BANG Showbiz: "As an actor the number one rule is we're not supposed to ever judge them.
"We have to love them, and we have to work out what that deep want is that is driving their behaviour, and play that with all the honesty we can.
"For Becca it was always that she wanted to be loved, seen, and heard, and she found that love in the worst of places.
"While I was playing it, if I had been judging her it would've made it really difficult.
"But then stepping out of it when I had finished the show, I found myself really able to say, categorically, she was completely in the wrong.
"The storyline needed to end the way that it did. During it, it was hard for me to say that, strangely.
"But now, stepping out of it she was completely wrong.
"So, it's strange to see those episodes again and remember the emotional space I had got myself into.
"I even wonder to myself, the way the story ended and she died, that makes so much sense to me now because there was no way back for her from that situation."
The Channel 4 soap will revisit the hard-hitting storyline this week as part of the show's 25th anniversary spin-off series 'Hollyoaks@25', and Ali is looking forward to seeing how people respond to the plot nowadays.
She said: "At the time it was quite a ground-breaking story.
"'Hollyoaks' are always very brave and will always have the difficult conversations.
"When this story came to light I don't think it had been played out in any of the shows, particularly with the woman being the teacher instigating this sort of relationship.
"It will be really interesting to see how people respond to it now."
The Becca and Justin week episodes will air from Monday (10.08.20) at 7pm on E4, until Friday (14.08.20).
The first episode will see Justin take pregnant Becca to the hospital after she starts bleeding, only for the nurse to mistake him for her little brother while he is wearing his school uniform.
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