'The X Factor' 2009 starts tonight (22.08.09), and here we bring you BANG's official preview of what to expect from the first show in the new series.
It has got even bigger and more spectacular since last year, with the opening surely designed to make the hairs on the back of your neck stand up.
As the four judges - Simon Cowell, Louis Walsh, Cheryl Cole and Dannii Minogue - are introduced as godlike figures, their recent successes shown in a video
montage alongside interview clips, ensuring that this will be the "hardest series yet".
And so to the auditions, starting in London, where we are introduced to the new format - hopefuls performing in front of a live audience of thousands.
The screams die down as the first act takes to the stage. Identically styled Lithuanian sisters and part time models Vaida and Rosita - who have moved from
their home country to the UK to take part in the competition - appear under the name 'The Dream Girls' and give a rendition of Robbie Williams' 'Angels'.
Alongside the crowd, there is also the addition of music to this year's round of auditions. As the opening chords of the song are played, the girls look nervous. One steps forward to deliver a nearly-in-key, heavily-accented rendition of the verse, getting the words wrong on her way. Nearing the chorus her sister, who is an even worse singer, kicks in and before long Simon's hand is in the air, hailing them to stop. The judges quickly dismiss them, telling them politely to stick to modelling.
Next to the stage is Stacey Solomon from Dagenham, a giggly and cheerful single mum of 19, who bears a passing resemblance to Cheryl. After a little cheeky banter with the judges, she launches into Louis Armstrong's 'What A Wonderful World' leaving the judges and most of the audience gobsmacked. In summary Cheryl tells her she didn't expect such a beautiful, huge voice to come from her.
When the Show moves to Glasgow in Scotland we meet Kyle, 16. He's a camp, Cheryl obsessive with emo hair, who gives a rendition of Girls Aloud's 'Untouchable' - against Simon's advice. He is an awful singer, and sounds as though he's on helium, earning him a firm 'no' vote from the panel and the derision of the crowd. Simon - who is being kinder to the contenders than in previous years - tells Kyle to stick to acting.
Next up are two extremely cheeky lads, John Paul and Edward Grimes, who have come from Dublin to audition. They are identical twins with snappy shoes, suits and ties and hair like Zack Morris in teen comedy series 'Saved By the Bell'. They are the first act on the show to divide the judges with their confident showmanship and American stylings.
The show then cuts to clips of hopefuls who made it, including a receptionist called Laura and her note-perfect rendition of 'I Will Always Love You' by Witney Houston as well as a 25-year-old plumber called Roy.
When the auditions hit Manchester, a cheeky-haired chap Joe is first up and performs a promising rendition of Luther Vandross' 'Dance With My Father' - which earns him a place in the next round. The show then switches back to London where geeky Fouad, originally from France, performs one of the most hideous murders of Mariah Carey's oeuvre ever filmed.
Next there is another montage of contestants from the show - watch out for 'The Stunners' - followed by shots of Simon getting upset backstage, saying he isn't feeling the day's contestants. We are told, with one act remaining, how will they fare?
The last act of the show is Danyl Johnston, 27, a schoolteacher from Reading, who walks confidently onstage and gives his all in a rendition of the Joe Cocker version of 'With a Little Help From my Friends' - but you'll have to tune in if you want to know if it's bad in a good way, or bad in a bad way.
'The X Factor' retains a magic feeling to it, and also, with its new format, showing less auditions per show, it appears more professional, more of a serious talent show than the 'comedic' acts of years gone by. And for good reason, as 'comedy' singing acts quickly get tired, and - as this year's 'Britain's Got Talent' showed with entrants such as Stavros Flatley - the X Factor is no longer the forum for this sort of talent. It's obvious the singers have been screened before the show and less of the auditions than ever are being shown.
This is a double edged sword as it is obvious the acts will go one of two ways - phenomenal or awful. The only fun is trying to tell which - and of course we're all waiting for those Susan Boyle moments, of which we've already been promised at least two. But it's always been easy to slide into cynicism when it comes to 'The X Factor' and doing so misses the point of the show and ignores exactly where the mass appeal comes from in the first place. This series is expected to top the last - which in itself was the biggest of all time in the UK - pulling in over 10 million viewers each week and peaking at over 14 million for the final.
There's sure to be plenty more heartbreak and triumph in the coming weeks, but the smiles of the judges will pervade - and rightly so, as they're on the best Saturday night show on TV.
Tagged in The X Factor