“It’s like giving birth to a watermelon, through your nostril”, was the advice a midwife gave me about my impeding birth. Except the birth was fake, and I wasn’t really pregnant…

When I received the script for Lee and Dean series 2 and found out my character, Mrs Bryce D’Souza, would be giving birth at the end of the series… I panicked. Would I make the right noises? Would I have my legs in stirrups? Would I at least be allowed to wear mascara (and presumably pants)?

I have no children and as a predominantly comedy actress I’d never done such a serious scene. Although I’d heard multiple birth stories from friends, all of them were different and I don’t think anyone had really gone into detail about the noises you make and the positions you end up in. Everyone kind of skipped to the happy ending…

I started preparing by asking all of my friends with children to explain the pain, and what noises they’d made. The answers varied from ‘my husband said I mooed like a cow’ to ‘like the dragon in Game of Thrones’ and most commonly ‘I really don’t remember’. It seemed like there was no consensus.

My character would be giving birth early, in a hotel room, with no pain relief, aided by Britain’s worst builders, Lee and Dean – who would be blowing up a paddling pool to make my posh character’s water birth dream come true.

I studied One Born Every Minute and even watched YouTube videos of women giving birth with no pain relief, crossing my legs and gripping onto the table in empathy. The night before, I practiced the birth sounds in my hotel room and scared the entire corridor…

On the morning of the shoot in Spain, at 6am I found myself leaning over a bed in a pretty dress and being doused in fake sweat by the brilliant make-up team.

After all of the preparation, I realised that there was no ‘right way’ of giving birth. That I’d have to make it unique to the character, and completely let go of any inhibitions. So, when they shouted ‘action’ and told me to go for it, I just screamed and screamed. And screamed. It was actually quite liberating. I just thought of things that make me angry! Then I realised the hotel hadn’t cleared the entire corridor and people were coming out of their rooms asking if someone had been murdered…

For most of the takes, a fake baby was handed to me which I really struggled not to laugh at because it seemed so ridiculous! Eventually a real baby was brought in, and then everything came together. It wasn’t hard to feel emotional then for my character to cry. Every birth is unique and magical, and I hope I did it justice.

I am really glad the line ‘I think I’ve done a poo’ made it into the final edit. With thanks to my friends for that particular piece of inside information… It is a comedy after all!

Lee and Dean airs on Channel 4, Thursday night at 10pm. The entire two series are available as a boxset on All4, Channel 4’s on-demand service. To watch online go to: https://www.channel4.com/programmes/lee-and-dean/episode-guide/series-2

Keep up-to-date with Anna on Twitter, @annamorriscomic!