As a mum of two who has had to do this twice, I can tell you it doesn’t get any easier. After months of being the primary carer for your child, when the day comes and you have to place them in the arms of a stranger, you may be tempted to hand in your notice there and then and take them back home. Sadly, this is not possible and most of us will have to give up our children to nursery staff at some point if we want or have to go back to work. As this is one of the most difficult things you will do as a parent, here are my top tips for getting through this emotional wrench.
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Settling in day: Most nurseries will offer this so take full advantage of the hours offered to you. Our nursery offered us three- one where we were present and two where we left our daughter for a couple of hours to gradually ease her into us not being there. Consequently on her first day, when I handed her over to her key person, she didn’t cry because she had already spent four hours in her company and was happy throughout the day.
Ask lots of questions: If you are able to attend a settling-in session the week before they start, use the time you can go with your little one to ask lots of questions. Write them all down and use this one to one time to find out everything you need to know about your child’s day when you aren’t there from feeding, to play, sleeping arrangements to booking holidays. The more you ask, the better prepared you will be when they do officially start. Chances are you will already have covered this when you were choosing the best nursery for your family, but it doesn’t hurt to recap.
Be prepared: Get everything ready the night before- the last thing you need when you are already feeling fragile is to be rushing around before you take them on their first day. Pack bottles, milk, nappies, nappy cream, wipes, teething gel- whatever the nursery doesn’t provide into a bag so everything is together and hang their outfit out so it’s ready just to grab in the morning to get them dressed. Make sure the journey there is a calm one by giving yourself enough time to drive or walk there with a few minutes to spare.
Try not to get upset in front of them: While this is easier said than done, if you need to have a cry, do it once they are inside. They will be feeling unsure and anxious too, so if they see you react, they might get upset as well. Give them a big smile to reassure them that they are going to be ok and shed your tears in the car or at home.
Listen to the feedback: Any nursery worth their salt will be able to tell you what kind of day your baby has had from how many times their nappy was changed to how many bottles they have had and how much they have had to eat as well as nap times. This information is really useful so you can see how they have spent their time and what activities they have been up to. If there are any tweaks that need to be made on either side, this will be your point of reference.
Remember that it is excellent preparation for school: Getting your baby into a routine early on and allowing them the opportunity to socialise with other children and adults is a positive step towards preparing them for school. Leaving the family home to spend time with people outside of their familiar circle will be the norm by the time they are four years old and won’t seem so daunting. While it is undoubtedly difficult to send your baby to nursery, try to think of the impact it will have on their development long term.
Remember that they are in good hands: Nursery staff are more than qualified to look after your child, most have years of experience in childcare, will probably have families of their own and will look after your baby with the same care and attention as they would their own flesh and blood. Given that your child is their primary focus along with the other children in the nursery environment, they will probably get a much more varied day than you could offer them at home-even with the very best of intentions.