I Don't Know Why She Bothers
I Don't Know Why She Bothers is a book for mothers who feel guilty about not being perfect - which I think pretty much covers all mothers these days , no matter what we do or don't do. The point of the book - apart from to make people laugh a bit - is to remind modern mothers that that they are MORE than just mothers - they are people, too. And that we should give ourselves and each other a break, embrace the shortcut (shamelessly!) - And feel confident that our love for our children will help us through. We don't need to prove our love for children to anyone - except to our children - and they already know it.
How did you first feel when you found out you were going to be a Mum?
Terrified - Happy - Lonely - Proud - Terrified - Depressed - Ecstatic - Crazy - Tearful - Hysterical - Happy - As mad as a tree - And actually - weirdly - it surprised me - full of love for the unborn dot of life.
You have written articles for restaurants, agony aunt pages, travel and property, so do you have a preference between these subjects?
I just love to write - anything, really - if I have something to say - which I generally do - as long it's not on the economy!
You have published seven novels, so what can you tell us about your others for fans of this book?
My last two novels are set in 1920s Hollywood, based around real people and events: Charlie Chaplin, Rudolph Valentino, Greta Garbo .... They are historical stories - love stories, I suppose. And although they might seem to be quite different in tone from this book, my last novel, which came in April, called Melting the Snow in Hester Street - is about Mother love. It's about a woman who moves from the slums and sweat shops of the Lower East Side NY to become one of the most glamorous movie stars in Hollywood - but who loses her child along the way.
What is the most common misconception about being a mum?
That we endlessly need to keep consulting "experts" to know how to do it.
How can dads and non-mothers enjoy this book?
Non mothers - because I think they will easily recognise the ridiculous tangles that mothers get themselves into, trying to be perfect -. I think it will make them laugh. Fathers - because it encourages mothers to stop making such a song and dance about motherhood, have a drink and a laugh and to put their feet up once in a while...
How do you juggle being a mother with work?
Oh god... I mean - moment by moment - if 'manage' is the word... My children are wise and kind and pulled together... which is lucky because I don't have any childcare anymore - which makes things amazingly complicated but I'm lucky in that I can work from home - The moments when my children are at school are fairly precious ... and productive...
Other than 'Chillaxing' what is the best piece of advice you can give to a new mum?
Be bloody minded. Stick up for yourself. Refuse to yield to the tutters and the bossy boots, KNOW that you love your child better than anyone else - and everyone else can tut and fuss as much as they like - if a task seems to YOU to be pointless - it probably is. So just don't do it!
What is a normal day like in your world?
It's all seat-of-the pants stuff (is that the expression?!) I mean - I am very chaotic, incredibly bad at planning ahead. Luckily my children's school is only a five minute walk away -- which makes a big difference. There never seems to be any food in the house so I spend a lot of time going backwards and forwards to the corner shop - with one or other of the children - to stock up.
What is next for you?
I have another novel I am half way through writing (longing to get back to it!) which is due in at my publisher this Christmas. It is set in a coal mining town in Southern Colorado in 1913.... And after that? Another trip to the corner shop, I should think...