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Parenting on Female First
Charlotte Kitley, 36, from south west London, was a blog enthusiast and wrote daily on her site for her readers to enjoy.
The mum of two who had written for the Huffington Post since 2013, tragically died earlier this week from bowel cancer.
The blog recorded her experience of undergoing treatment for advanced bowel cancer and has received an overwhelming response, with two million views since its appearance on the home page of this week.
Her final blog, posted on the day she died, was a highly emotive goodbye message, to her husband Richard, their two young children, Lucy and Danny, and readers of her blog.
In it, she says: "As you read this, I will no longer be here. Rich will be trying to put one foot in front of the other, to get by, a day at a time, knowing I will no longer awake next to him… I have so much life I still want to live, but know I won't have that. I want to be there for my friends as they move with their lives, see my children grow up and become old and grumpy with Rich. All these things are to be denied of me.
"But, they are not to be denied of you. So, in my absence, please, please, enjoy life. Take it by both hands, grab it, shake it and believe in every second of it. Adore your children. You have literally no idea how blessed you are to shout at them in the morning to hurry up and clean their teeth. Embrace your loved one and if they cannot embrace you back, find someone who will. Everyone deserves to love and be loved in return. Don't settle for less.
It all started for Charlotte two weeks after running a half marathon in just 1hr 45min in October 2011, when she started developing back ache.
"I went to the doctor, but with no real explanation, it took another three months until I met with a back specialist. As a matter of routine, he sent me for an MRI. Following a slight suspicion within my pelvis, I was then sent for an ultrasound and a CT scan. The following day, the back specialist called to see me. "I don't remember much of the meeting, other than the words 'suspicious mass'. I've since been told that given the location of the tumour, I wouldn't have experienced any of the usual signs, such as blood in my poo or stomach ache. My tumour was compressing against my spine, hence my back pain."
After further tests, Charlotte was diagnosed with Stage 4 bowel cancer which had spread to her liver and following her diagnosis, went through two operations to remove tumours, first in her bowel, then in her liver, followed by 25 rounds of radiotherapy and 39 rounds of chemotherapy.
The treatment worked in clearing Charlotte's bowel cancer but the number of tumours in her liver increased from three to five. Then she was told in November that year, the cancer had also spread to her lungs.
Charlotte did survive until Tuesday 16th September 2014, which was 22 months after she was told she had 6 months to live. Her final words in her blog were:
"And when you close your curtains tonight, look out for a star, it will be me, looking down, sipping a pina colada, enjoying a box of (very expensive) chocolates. Good night, Good bye and God bless. Charley xx".
Charlotte's husband, Richard, has been overwhelmed by the level of support he has received in the last few days since her death and has set up a Bowel Cancer UK Just Giving page and text.
Deborah Alsina, chief executive of Bowel Cancer UK said: "We are all completely devastated and saddened by Charlotte's death. She was such an inspiration for other people with bowel cancer and through her beautifully crafted blog, created a big following among the online community."
"While bowel cancer is thankfully relatively rare in younger people like Charlotte, around 2,100 people under 50 are still diagnosed with it each year, often late. That's why we launched our 'Never Too Young' campaign, to improve the diagnosis, treatment and care of younger bowel cancer patients and to raise awareness amongst younger people and health professionals. Early diagnosis really does save lives."
Bowel Cancer UK is also raising awareness about the type of advanced, Stage 4 bowel cancer which Charlotte had. The 'Time for Guts' campaign is a call for action by the charity to improve survival rates and support for people with advanced bowel cancer, in an urgent bid to save more lives from bowel cancer, the UK's second biggest cancer killer.
Out of the 41,500 people diagnosed with bowel cancer every year in the UK, around 3,800 are diagnosed with advanced, Stage 4 bowel cancer. In addition, about half of the 9,800 people diagnosed at Stage 3 will go on to develop advanced bowel cancer. Fewer than one in ten people diagnosed with advanced bowel cancer will survive for more than five years, compared with nine out of ten people diagnosed at the earliest stage of the disease.
Bowel cancer is the second most common cause of cancer death in the UK, affecting both men and women. Every year over 40,000 people are diagnosed with bowel cancer which equates to a diagnosis every 15 minutes and around 15,700 people die of the disease.
Symptoms of bowel cancer include:
- Bleeding from the bottom and/or blood in your poo.
- A change in your normal bowel habit lasting three weeks or more especially to looser or runny poo.
- Extreme tiredness for no obvious reason.
- Unexplained weight loss.
- A pain or lump in your tummy.
If you would like to do your bit for the charity, visit the Bowel Cancer Just Giving page via http://www.justgiving.com/CharlottesStarOfHopeFund or text Text GUTS78 £5 to 70070