Amy Ransom is author of The New Mum's Notebook, the reassuring, funny and down-to-earth companion to the first year of motherhood. Here, she shares her tips for boosting your mental wellbeing in those post-natal weeks. The New Mum's Notebook by Hutchinson is out now, £16.99
The New Mum's Notebook
Look after yourself however you can. Get some fresh air. Eat some cake. Have an apple. Keep hydrated. Eat some more cake, if that's all you fancy. Do what you can when you can. It's all about balance. Now is NOT the time to undertake an exercise plan or rigid diet. Trust me, when you've had two hours sleep, cake is all you've got.
Watch box-sets (and let yourself recover physically). One day, your static newborn will be crawling EVERYWHERE with you chasing after them. So, for now, sit on the sofa and enjoy those box-sets you've never had the time to watch. It's not lazy and it is perfectly ok to do this. Most new mums wish they'd done more of this, once they never have a chance to sit down again.
Take social media with a HUGE pinch of salt (or switch off from it altogether). When you're consumed by looking after a small human, it can feel like the outside world is having a better life than you currently are. Parties. Nights out. Holidays. All documented by the wonder that is social media. They're not. And you have a delicious baby in your arms. So you win.
Stare at your baby. Sometimes, I find myself wishing I'd looked at my babies more and given them complete focus of my attention. I multi-tasked a lot more than I needed to. If I had my time again, I'd just sit around staring at them. Because they're small for such a short time and that isn't a cliché. It's the truth.
Realise that there is nothing else you're meant to be doing right now. You've had a baby. You're nurturing that baby. This is your role right now. And it IS enough. You don't also have to start a Fortune 500 company. Lose the baby weight. Or clean the toilet.
Be patient with yourself (and your baby). The good news is there's no end to motherhood. No finish line to cross. So there's absolutely no point rushing through it. Lean back from anxious moments and be accepting of yourself and your baby.
Ask for help if you need it. Sometimes, busy people forget to check in on a new mum. Don't wait for an offer. It's actually really empowering to be able to put your hand up and say, 'Would you mind doing X?' And most people love an opportunity to step in and help.
Make friends with uncertainty. I still vividly remember bringing my now eight year old home from hospital. I felt so uncertain and kept wishing for the next moment to come, that would surely be certain. It never was. It still isn't. As humans, we crave certainty everywhere; even more so as new mums, when nothing is within our control. The certainty of sleep. The certainty of feeding. The certainty of getting it 'right'. But motherhood is ALWAYS changing and this desire only makes us feel anxious and miss out on the very wonderfulness in front us.
Learn to savour the ordinary moments. They're beautiful and they're everywhere, once you learn to look for them. Practicing looking for the joy in a challenging situation, rather than succumbing to the frustration will totally save your sanity when you're faced with a toddler stand-off.
Ignore all of this (and everyone else's advice) and always do what feels right for you and your baby. New mums never need advice, telling or lecturing. All you EVER need is the self-belief to follow your instincts and be the amazing mother you already are.
