Teach your kids the dangers of alcohol
You may think it’s early to discuss alcohol, but with underage drinking on the rise, find out how best to tackle the subject.
It’s never been so important to prepare your child for the temptations of alcohol: evidence suggests that drinking among children is going up every year. One in ten 11-13 year olds now drinks more than ten units of alcohol a week and those who are binge drinking by 16 are more likely to use drugs, become alcoholics and get criminal convictions. In 2007, 8,100 children were admitted to hospital as a result of alcohol abuse.
Talking to your child while she is young should help her develop a balanced attitude to alcohol so she can resist peer pressure later on. This will soon be backed up in primary school science lessons, as well as personal, social and health education sessions, which start at age five.
Set an example
The first step is to set a good example yourself. "This isn’t an area where you can say ‘Don’t do as I do’ because the real message you give is through your behaviour," urges Maggie Fisher of the Community Practitioners’ and Health Visitors’ Association.
"If I’m going to have a drink, I wait until my children are in bed," says Zoe, mum of Ella, 5, and Daisy, 2. "But when we’ve been at weddings and I’ve had a drink, I’ve explained to them that it’s okay for grown-ups to have a little alcohol on special occasions."
When there’s a drinker in the family
Your child is, however, still likely to notice the impact of alcohol at some point. This is especially true if someone in your family has a drink problem. "I’d avoid describing alcoholism as an illness, as opinion is really divided about this," cautions Zara McQueen of Action On Addiction. "I’d also avoid saying things such as, ‘Auntie Sally works far too hard so she’s really tired,’ if she’s snoring away at the end of the sofa." This might seem kinder, but it doesn’t help your child draw a link between choices and consequences that can help them make their own decisions in the future. Instead, Zara suggests being as open as you can without frightening your child. "Be honest at a level that isn’t scary and is appropriate for their age," she advises. "For example, say: ‘Auntie Sally has a problem with alcohol: she drinks too much beer.'"
"My mother has been an alcoholic ever since I can remember," says Charlotte, mum of Nathan, 7, and Dominic, 5. "Nathan was only three when he first asked why Granny sometimes couldn’t talk properly. We told him she drinks a lot of whisky and that can make her act funny. He accepted that at the time, but as the boys have got older we’ve discussed a lot more about whether the whisky actually makes her feel happy. They both say they prefer Granny when she isn’t drunk."
Explaining drunken behaviour
Even if alcohol isn’t an issue within your family, your child is likely to see its consequences, such as seeing teenagers drinking in the street or on TV. "The kids managed to turn Hollyoaks on one day and there was a scene where the characters were drinking beer. Olivia said ‘That’s naughty!’ and I said ‘You’re right, they’re too young'," says Emma, mum of Robbie, 5, and Olivia, 3.
"Tom seemed quite frightened when we passed some young men in football shirts who were shouting and chanting," says David, dad of Tom, 6, and Naomi, 4. "I told him they were probably quite nice people but had been drinking a lot of beer, which can make people act like that, and that reassured him."
Give clear messages
If your child sees drunken behaviour, Zara suggests watching her reaction and giving as much information as she’s ready for without lecturing: "Explain that when people drink too much alcohol it doesn’t make them happy, but it can make them behave stupidly and be unwell." There’s a lot of pressure on children to experiment. By being honest, you can help your child to make the best choices.
"Any message you give a child about alcohol has to be simple and clear," urges Zara. "And the most important one is that children don’t drink alcohol - it’s wrong." This holds true even if they are offered a drink by someone their own age. "If your son tells you ‘James has a drink and he’s the same age as me,’ tell him ‘That isn’t good for James, and if James offers you some, don’t take it. Some adults drink alcohol, but children never should.’ There should be no compromise."
What to tell your child...
Under-fives
- Make your message simple and unambiguous, for example: "Children don’t drink alcohol"
- Make it clear that you are talking about drinking alcohol - if you talk about "drinking" she may think you mean drinking milk or fruit juice
- Use language she can relate to: if she hasn’t heard of "alcohol" before, refer to something she might have heard of, such as beer, wine or cider
Over-fives
- Introducing the idea of responsible drinking can be appropriate, but make it clear it’s not for children: "Some adults drink alcohol, but children never drink alcohol"
- Take your lead from your child. Ask her, "Is there anything you want to ask about what you’ve just seen?"
- Be honest, without frightening her, for example: "This is what happens when people drink too much alcohol"
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