10 Reasons every mother needs to find herself again by Sarah Jayne Dunn

13 June 2018

Parenting on Female First

1- Self Confidence:

During pregnancy your body changes dramatically and goes through many things, the body you once knew morphs into an incredible baby building machine and it’s fascinating to experience and to watch. After you’ve had your baby the body starts to repair and rebuild and feeds life to your new born baby in many ways, but you may not recognise the new shape your body has taken on or feel like you will ever feel or look like you did before your baby. In all honesty you may never feel like you did before having a baby but that’s not necessarily a bad thing. You should feel proud of the incredible things your body has done and continues to do, and support and nurture it in its journey by helping the recovery process with the correct exercises and healthy, nutritious foods. By doing this you will start to regain the body confidence that you may or may not have lost and who knows you may even find you love your body more after having a baby than you did before! My body is happier and healthier than it’s ever been. I love my new lean, strong physique after completing my 12-week transformation and now my little boy is almost 2.

2- Socialise and make new friends:

When Stanley was 6 weeks old and once I had the very important post-natal all clear from the doctor, I resumed my physical exercise journey by joining a ‘Mummy Tummy’ class with fellow personal trainers and friends Claire and Robin who own and run ‘The female Fitness Academy’. Their classes are specifically tailored to new mummy’s ensuring that all the exercises are suitable for post-natal ladies and they are on hand and qualified to constantly check that you are completing the exercises with the correct technique and not doing any damage to your still repairing body. One of the many good things about this class was that you are also able to take your baby along with you! This meant I didn’t need to organise child care or be apart from Stanley if I didn’t feel like leaving him, it was also a positive reason for us to get up and out of the house and I would look forward to my class every week. It became a social thing as well as an exercise class as I was able to chat to other new mums and share experiences and our babies could also interact and gurgle to each other. Stanley loved these classes as much as I did and I would always come away from them feeling positive and happy.

3- Passing on good habits to children:

I wanted to get back into exercise after having Stanley for many reasons, the obvious being to get back my pre-natal body but I also wanted to boost my confidence, to meet other new mums and all the other reasons I am discussing in this blog. One of the most important reasons was to instil in Stanley from an early age that exercise and eating healthy, colourful, nutritious foods is a normal way of day to day life. I want him to learn that exercise can be fun and enjoyable and it’s not a chore or punishment, that eating well and cooking yummy food from scratch is easy and not out of the ordinary and that by doing these things together you can be full of energy and fit and strong. Our children watch and learn from us from everything we do, and it makes me feel happy and proud that Stanley sees mummy and daddy’s healthy happy lifestyle and doesn’t question it, he’s a happy little boy that doesn’t stop and his favourite thing to do is to play outside and run around.

4- Me time:

Being a mummy is incredible and I feel like the luckiest person in the world to have my son Stanley but that doesn’t mean I don’t miss being ‘Sarah’ sometimes or that I don’t crave some peace and quiet or time for myself. For me this is what going to the gym and training has become and I love and look forward to it. I weight train 3 times a week for 45 minutes and do cardio 2-3 times a week on top of that for 30 minutes. This time to me has become my sanctuary, I put my headphones in and put on some pop (usually Beyoncé and Rihanna) and for that time I can be Sarah again, I can zone out and focus on strengthening my body and improving my fitness, the body does wonderful things when you exercise and releases a load of feel good hormones and after a workout you can’t help but feel great. The buzz that exercising gives me sets me up for the day and that energy and feel good attitude passes on to Stanley and whoever else I come across.

5- Strength and mobility for everyday life:

Having a baby is tough, even if you have an easy ride with it, it’s a life changing experience and I’ve found personally that now Stanley is almost 2 lots of things have got easier but many things have got tougher. He now sleeps through 90% of the time and is much more independent however he’s not quite transitioned into a little boy and is still very much baby/toddler, which means that he can walk around and run a million miles an hour but he’s still only little and tires and wants carrying. When he doesn’t want to do something, boy do you know about it! Trying to carry a flailing, strong, determined 2-year-old takes a lot of strength. It may sound silly but getting fit and strong after having a baby can be super beneficial to everyday life. I can carry Stanley and the shopping with strength and support as my body is used to lifting and my core is strong. I can squat to pick up his dummy or the toy he’s screaming for whilst holding him with the correct technique and with ease as my body is used to squatting much heavier weight when I train. I can run around after him for as long as he can last as I’m fit and my cardio sessions mean I’m used to pushing myself and my stamina has increased. I sleep better and deeper because I train hard and my body is physically tired, this means that I wake up more refreshed with more energy for the day ahead.

These everyday things that you may not think about can affect you more than you know but by exercising regularly you can make life that little bit easier.

6- The Body changes you experience during pregnancy and after birth and how exercise can help:

Take your time. What many people don’t know is that during and after you have had a baby the body produces a hormone called ’Relaxin’ which loosens off the joints in the body to enable easier child birth. This hormone remains in your body for a period of time after you’ve had baby and is continued to be produced by the body if you breastfeed. Your joints are therefore more vulnerable to injury and this is one of the reasons why you should take exercise easy after a baby and avoid certain exercises, particularly high impact activities like running or jumping. By taking exercise slowly and sensibly and listening to your body you can gradually build your body strength back up and in time return to a full range of exercises.

Another post-natal side effect is something called ‘Diastasis Recti’ which is a condition where the abdominals split, it is very common but if not treated with the right correctional exercises it can cause more damage and weaknesses in the body and in particular the ‘Pelvic floor’. Doing the correct and simple exercises can in time rectify this.

7- Realign the body

Naturally when you carry a baby your body compensates for the large extra weight you are carrying. Your hips drop back and your shoulders and head move forward, both these changes cause shortening and lengthening of various muscles around the body, causing aches and pains during pregnancy and once you have had your baby. By exercising you can help realign your body and strengthen and lengthen the muscles that have been affected. Often the notorious ‘mum tum’ is simply due to bad posture that hasn’t been repaired postnatally. Stand tall, pull your shoulders back and down, tuck your bum under and push your chest high and watch that tum disappear. Don’t stand apologetically, stand tall and be proud of your body.

8- Repair your pelvic floor

I have heard mums too many times discuss needing a wee ‘because I’ve had a baby you know’, “I can’t jump up and down”, ‘because I’ve had a baby’, “I had to leave the exercise class at the jumping bit because I was scared of weeing”, ‘because I’ve had a baby’………. This is a side effect of pregnancy but it’s not an excuse because it can be repaired and absolutely should be repaired. Your body’s core strength is so important, if you’re moving correctly your core should support everything your body does. Imagine a cardboard box, when you’re pregnant a huge amount of pressure is put onto the bottom of that cardboard box (your pelvic floor), these are simply muscles that become weakened, but they can absolutely be strengthened post-natal - as they are muscles! You can start to strengthen your pelvic floor almost immediately after having your baby and it’s important that you do. Read up on this, perform the exercises safely and don’t rush and you can thank me later. Once your pelvic floor is back to its’ full strength there’s no reason why you can’t go along to that trampoline centre or jump on a bouncy castle with your child with confidence!!

9- To feel happier and healthier:

The benefits of exercising regularly are extensive both physically and mentally, having a baby is one of the most stressful things you can do in life and it will test you to your limits and provide you with some of the highest and lowest moments in your life. Exercising is an excellent coping mechanism for being a parent and the side effects are that it makes you healthier and happier at the same time and is one of the most successful ways of dealing with stress, what’s not to love!

10- Prepare the body for another baby:

The body works hard to become pregnant, to then nurture that life for 9 months and then deliver that life into the world. It then continues to work to feed that new life and provide it with warmth, comfort and love. It only seems fair that you repay your body with some love, and nurture it back to life. Feed it with the right fuels, treat it with respect and repair it gradually, build it’s strength back up and create a super happy vessel that is, if and when the time is right, ready to repeat the whole process for you. Being physically and mentally healthy and fuelling your body with the right foods provides the optimum conditions for new life to grow :)