The problem…
How can I make sure my student son’s housemates are clean and tidy?
"My son is a music student and has been away at college for the past year, sharing a flat that we rented for him. There were others in the place with him and when lockdown started, I brought him home immediately – thank goodness – but the two girls in the flat stayed on. Eventually they both went home and the flat was left empty.
"We waited a week to be sure there was no chance of infection but last weekend we went back to pick up some things he'd left behind. I couldn't believe the state of the place! I've never seen anything like it – it was absolutely filthy; goodness alone knows what infections and viruses might have been lurking around.
"The girls are not coming back, and my son will be sharing the place with new people when he restarts, so I had to set to and clean it up. If the landlord had seen it like that, we would have lost our deposit. It took me more than five hours just to restore the kitchen to some kind of normality and I'll still have to go back again to clean up the rest of the flat.
"Can we sue them for the mess they've left, and how can we ensure that new people won't treat the place so badly?"
Fiona says…
"Whilst the landlord might have had some recourse against the students living in the property, I think your chances of getting any form of compensation are slim. How would you prove, for example, that your son hadn't contribute equally to the state of the place? I'm sure you feel he wouldn't have done but, as I said, how could you prove it? I fear this is something you will have to put down to experience.
"Obviously, I don't know the state of mind of the young women who were sharing his flat. Perhaps they were worried and anxious and desperate to leave; perhaps they taken ill and left before they had a chance to do anything. From the picture you sent though, I would say that mess had been going on for longer than a few weeks and perhaps your son had been living with some of it too.
"When it comes to finding new people to share with though, I think you have to set out what you expect from the outset. These are conversations to be had whist deciding who to share with. Perhaps also make some signs to stick up around the place telling people to clean the bathroom/kitchen after use?
"As your son is going back to the same place, his point of view might carry some weight with the new people he'll be sharing with. Perhaps he could set up a cleaning rota where everyone has to take a turn at, for example, cleaning the toilet, cleaning out the fridge, washing the kitchen floor, etc. Enforcing these things could be tricky though. I'm afraid that a bit of squalor seems to be part and parcel of student life in many cases, especially if they're away from home for the first time. Choosing more mature students to share with might help – but it's no guarantee.
"You say it took you more than five hours to clean the kitchen – what was your son doing whilst you did this? Is he used to you doing all the domestic chores around the home? When did he last clean the bathroom, or even the toilet, for example? Use this time your son is with you to make sure he does his turn with domestic tasks so that they're more of a habit when he returns to college – whenever that may be."
If you have a problem you need help with, email Fiona by writing to [email protected] for advice. All letters are treated in complete confidence and, to protect this privacy, Fiona is unable to pass on your messages to other readers. Fiona regrets that she cannot enter into personal correspondence.