Goldie Lookin Chain have always had a bit of a reputation as a bunch of likely lads, but with their new album ASBO 4 Life ready to hit the shelves, I caught up with the guys to chat about life before Eastenders, Jim’ll Fix It, Erotic Call Centres and “kicking in” Alexandra Burke.
Hi boys, so what’s happening in the world of GLC?
Well I’ve just got a message from last minute.com where they offered me the chance to go to a spa for like £5 so I’m going to book myself in there. I’ve got a driving test on the 26th too.
Ooh scary… is it your first one?
Yeah, but I’m quietly confident. So it’s all pretty good at the moment.
So after you’re relaxation time at the spa it will be time for your ASBO 4 life tour; how exciting is that?
It’s going to be good! Oh man, after I’ve chilled out at the spa and had a facial I’m going to have to get on a bus and smell of my own bo***Cks after two days.
Lovely. So what can the paying public expect from one of your shows?
Do you remember Jim’ll Fix It and the episode where they had all those kids on a rollercoaster being sick on each other? [FF: No, I’m too young for Jim’ll Fix It] If you go online and search for Jim’ll Fix It+Rollercoaster+Cub Scouts… they sent a load of cub scouts on a rollercoaster and they ate their dinner whist doing a loop the loop. F***ing hilarious! A load of kids travelling over 100MPH trying to drink Orange squash! How old are you? [FF:21]
Oh bloody hell, you must have only just got pubes! Do you remember life before Eastenders? [FF: No] So you’ve always had Eastenders in your life? [FF Yep, always! I don‘t watch it though, I‘m a Hollyoaks girl!] OHHH NO! God! Do you watch Skins as well? [FF: No!]
Good, we were on a train today with the cast of Skins, a load of 14 year olds all screaming in Carriage B, actually it might not have been the cast of Skins, just a load of kids talking about sex and periods or whatever they talk about!
Eww! Minging! So the tour is obviously in support of your latest album of the same name, what’s that like then?
F***ing Slammin! It’s like taking a load of drugs and then injecting a load of Mercury into your c**k and then going to the doctor and having to have it removed [FF: That just sounds painful!] It’s crazy man.
Honestly it’s really good… it’s like getting on a trampoline and turning up some music really loud and then you just fly. It’s good fun and it’s guaranteed to cheer up everyone because the world is far too miserable these days and songs are really depressing, so we’re taking the misery out of pop music.
Yeah but it’s not fun if you’re all getting ASBO’s as a result!
No, no no! the album is called ASBO 4 Life because it will stick with you for your life like an ASBO.
Oh, okay, because we don’t want to promote criminal behaviour…
Exactly. Spread the love!
And why should the public spend out hard-earned cash on your CD in this dark economic climate?
Because it’s worth it, and otherwise you have to listen to a load of warbling people going *ahem* “ooh love, ooh love” and a lot of people are staying in now on a Friday and Saturday night… you go out and buy this album and you can start your own nightclub in your kitchen!
Brilliant! I’ll flick my light on and off really fast.
Get a load of Gin in and just get smashed!
So the CD might be amazing, but do you think it has what it takes to battle it out in the charts with the likes of Girls Aloud and Alexandra Burke?
Alexandra Who? Yeah, we’ll kick her in. If she wants a fight, we’ll kick her in. Generally speaking, yeah we can, we’ll have a party!
Lovely. So can you sum the record up in just five words for us?
It Makes Me Have Fun. [FF: Aww!] Do you like that? [FF: Yeah! We love the way you thought carefully about your answer!] I was counting on my fingers!
And if you were to tell me to listen to one song from said album, which one would it be?
I personally would say Everybody Is A DJ. it’s a really good one, everyone seems to like it. When we make an album I test it on my family and for the female market I test it on my sisters and DJ has gone down very well with them. Are you a woman?
Of course I’m a woman! Are you saying I sound like a bloke?
No no, you sound very erotic on the phone. [FF: Oh God, I don’t mean to!] Do you work for one of those call centres at the weekend? [FF: Where I call you and try to sell you kitchens… no.] No, one of those special ones… “No I’m taking it off now love” [FF: Unfortunately not no.] I’d ring ever day if you wore working there. [FF: Cheers.]
Moving swiftly on….who do you think is the best musician around at the moment?
Elton John. You know he did a tune with TuPac, brilliant that is. Elton John is so good he can bring people back from the dead. If I was to get married I’d have that playing and I’d lock everyone in the Church for 24 hours and make them listen to that song.
Well that brings me onto my next question… if you could only listen to one CD for the rest of your life.. What would it be?
Probably ether the original Hits tape or Now That’s What I Call Music… any of them. Or Reign In Blood by slayer, that has a lot of energy behind it. Anything with a bit of a “Catchy Beat” as my dad might say.
And if you could get rid of anyone in the charts, who would it be?
Who is in the charts? Who is number one at the moment? [FF: Lady GaGa] Never heard of her. She can stay because we don’t know her. Who else? [FF: Girls Aloud and Alexandra Burke the X Factor winner] Never heard of them. Actually I’d probably get rid of everyone so that we get to number one.
That’s a pretty good idea, or you could just nick number one songs and stick your labels on the cover and marketing them as your own.
Yes. Put their covers on our records! Brilliant!
Okay, so now I’m going to ask you three random questions… firstly; if you only had nine minutes to live, what would you do in those nine minutes?
I’d listen to Stone Roses Fools Gold which is just over nine minutes long so I’d just about get to the last bit as it finished and I drifted away.
Aww!
I’d have a glass of white wine and watch Ally McBeal on TV until the first commercial break until I gently drift off to the other side.
Now, tell me one experience with an animal that you’ll never forget.
I’ve got family who live in the countryside and these horses used t walk around and one day this horses knob came out and it did a wee and it was so hard and powerful that it ripped up the turf out of the groud. It was hilarious. Piss rips turf: it’s official.
And if you could go back in time and prevent a huge catastrophe, what would you prevent?
Probably the time I shit myself in Germany when we were on tour. [FF; Oh dear, and why was that? Or do we not want to know?] I had food poisoning on the tour bus and had to travel for like 48 hours whilst letting everything out into a bucket.
Also, we ask everyone we interview to come up with a question for the next person we interview, and MVP the wrestler, wants to know; what was the last song you sung in the shower?
Here we go… you ready? *In their best singing voices* “The minute you walked in the joint… bah bah… I could see you were a man of distinction, a real big (and I changed this bit to…) a real big bender.” and then I look at myself naked in the mirror.
Surely the mirror would have steamed up with the shower?
Well it was steamed up by the time I finished that song!
Haha, legend. Now can you come up with a question for the next band I interview please?
Would you ever dye your pubes?
Oh amazing. Have you?
No, but I have fashioned them. But who will you ask that to?
A rock band called Staind.
*they fall about laughing at this point* oh well they will have with a name like Staind. It’s probably pebble-dashed.
Oh dear me. Well thanks for taking the time out to make my day a little brighter boys!
FemaleFirst - Ruth Harrison
Goldie Lookin Chain have always had a bit of a reputation as a bunch of likely lads, but with their new album ASBO 4 Life ready to hit the shelves, I caught up with the guys to chat about life before Eastenders, Jim’ll Fix It, Erotic Call Centres and “kicking in” Alexandra Burke.
Hi boys, so what’s happening in the world of GLC?
Well I’ve just got a message from last minute.com where they offered me the chance to go to a spa for like £5 so I’m going to book myself in there. I’ve got a driving test on the 26th too.
Ooh scary… is it your first one?
Yeah, but I’m quietly confident. So it’s all pretty good at the moment.
So after you’re relaxation time at the spa it will be time for your ASBO 4 life tour; how exciting is that?
It’s going to be good! Oh man, after I’ve chilled out at the spa and had a facial I’m going to have to get on a bus and smell of my own bo***Cks after two days.
Lovely. So what can the paying public expect from one of your shows?
Do you remember Jim’ll Fix It and the episode where they had all those kids on a rollercoaster being sick on each other? [FF: No, I’m too young for Jim’ll Fix It] If you go online and search for Jim’ll Fix It+Rollercoaster+Cub Scouts… they sent a load of cub scouts on a rollercoaster and they ate their dinner whist doing a loop the loop. F***ing hilarious! A load of kids travelling over 100MPH trying to drink Orange squash! How old are you? [FF:21]
Oh bloody hell, you must have only just got pubes! Do you remember life before Eastenders? [FF: No] So you’ve always had Eastenders in your life? [FF Yep, always! I don‘t watch it though, I‘m a Hollyoaks girl!] OHHH NO! God! Do you watch Skins as well? [FF: No!]
Good, we were on a train today with the cast of Skins, a load of 14 year olds all screaming in Carriage B, actually it might not have been the cast of Skins, just a load of kids talking about sex and periods or whatever they talk about!
Eww! Minging! So the tour is obviously in support of your latest album of the same name, what’s that like then?
F***ing Slammin! It’s like taking a load of drugs and then injecting a load of Mercury into your c**k and then going to the doctor and having to have it removed [FF: That just sounds painful!] It’s crazy man.
Honestly it’s really good… it’s like getting on a trampoline and turning up some music really loud and then you just fly. It’s good fun and it’s guaranteed to cheer up everyone because the world is far too miserable these days and songs are really depressing, so we’re taking the misery out of pop music.
Yeah but it’s not fun if you’re all getting ASBO’s as a result!
No, no no! the album is called ASBO 4 Life because it will stick with you for your life like an ASBO.
Oh, okay, because we don’t want to promote criminal behaviour…
Exactly. Spread the love!
And why should the public spend out hard-earned cash on your CD in this dark economic climate?
Because it’s worth it, and otherwise you have to listen to a load of warbling people going *ahem* “ooh love, ooh love” and a lot of people are staying in now on a Friday and Saturday night… you go out and buy this album and you can start your own nightclub in your kitchen!
Brilliant! I’ll flick my light on and off really fast.
Get a load of Gin in and just get smashed!
So the CD might be amazing, but do you think it has what it takes to battle it out in the charts with the likes of Girls Aloud and Alexandra Burke?
Alexandra Who? Yeah, we’ll kick her in. If she wants a fight, we’ll kick her in. Generally speaking, yeah we can, we’ll have a party!
Lovely. So can you sum the record up in just five words for us?
It Makes Me Have Fun. [FF: Aww!] Do you like that? [FF: Yeah! We love the way you thought carefully about your answer!] I was counting on my fingers!
And if you were to tell me to listen to one song from said album, which one would it be?
I personally would say Everybody Is A DJ. it’s a really good one, everyone seems to like it. When we make an album I test it on my family and for the female market I test it on my sisters and DJ has gone down very well with them. Are you a woman?
Tagged in Goldie Lookin Chain