Musician Natascha Hagen exclusive guest blog

14 May 2015

Another relationship just found its end and you need to let go - one of the hardest things to do in my opinion... but why is it that so many times love fades and finally ends and there is nothing you can do about it? It almost feels like a Sword of Damocles hanging over you...

Wait a minute - maybe it is time to think about the following questions:

1) What is your concept of a happy relationship?

2) Do you believe in relationships that are based on love, respect and appreciation, without restricting each other, a relationship, where you invite a partner to share your love and completeness with him OR are you attracting relationships that are based on some kind of codependency (money, stability, an emotional dependency)?

3) Is there an empty space in your heart that says: 'I need to be filled up, please make me happy'?

If you answered the last question with 'Yes', and the one before with 'I attract relationships, where there is always a dependency', well then it would probably be a good idea to have a look at just how much you love yourself and what you still might need to heal within yourself or need to give yourself, because expecting somebody else to make you happy will eventually end up in making you unhappy!

Why is that you ask?

Because nobody can make you happy, can fill up gaps that have emerged out of negative experiences and old beliefs in your life, nobody can make you whole or boost your self-worth on the long run.

There's no one who can heal your wounds that you are carrying already around for ages, trying to hide them by putting them into an 'emotional drawer' with the intention to never look at them again...

To do all this would be too much of a task for another person. The only one who is responsible for your happiness and who can fill up that space in your heart is you, yes YOU!

When you treat yourself like you want to be treated by others - with respect, affection and love - then you will not only reap inner peace and appreciation for yourself, but you will also attract love and respect from other people, so says the law of attraction (like attracts like).

Treat yourself like you would treat the man - or woman - of your dreams!

Embrace yourself in front of the mirror and tell yourself how adorable you are, that you are such a sweetheart and that every person on this planet would consider themselves lucky to have you at their side!

However, don't just say it without emotions, you need to FEEL what you tell your reflection in the mirror!

What else can you do?

Well, you can ask yourself what gives you pleasure. Is it spending time with your friends, reading a book, taking a long walk, what is it? Make yourself happy by doing things that bring you joy.

Also, withdraw from people who don't appreciate you enough as a person and learn to say 'No', to those who neglect your values and who are 'crossing borders' physically or emotionally.

Saying 'No' to those people is like saying 'Yes' to yourself! Learn to say 'Yes' to yourself! Learn how to be complete by yourself! And if you then decide to share your completeness with a partner, you double your happiness!

In this spirit, love and fulfilment to you all!