My definition of a strong woman was varied and I have been inspired by all sorts of women. I liked the evil girls from silent movies; in the 80s I liked Siouxsie a lot; later I read Valerie Solanas and found her hate and fanatism inspiring; then I really liked the riot grrrl movement in the 90s and became part that.
I also respect and like sexy women who are actually seen as sex objects; curvy sensual women who just feel good in their bodies. I just can't identify with skinny models who just dress up in someone else's clothes.
For me the most important thing is a woman that has personality who can express her feelings, her energy and her rage but also her love, her humor and her tenderness.
I can also identify with lots of men. I don't like it if you have to choose if you prefer man or women, that you have to be like this or like that to be a real feminist. Feminism should be about freedom and tolerance open-mindedness and inspiration. It should make you more free and happy rather than put you in a box.
When I was a child and living with my parents I saw that my mother, even though she was more intelligent than she let on, gave in to the submissive part of the relationship. Both of my parents worked in medicine but my Mum stayed home with us and took care of her 4 kids and helped my Dad. I had 3 brothers and I was the oldest oldest child and only daughter. I always wished for a sister but never got one. My Dad was a real Arabic patriarch. When I was living in Syria with my family most women gave in to the household role even if they had studied.
They told me that this is the kind of game they play but they also play it with pleasure because in reality woman had the power and could manipulate their husbands easily if they wanted.
As I grew older I knew exactly what I wanted. I wanted to make music but also have a family. I wanted to show my Father that women have the power and that they just need the right surroundings to live it out. He always told me that because I was a girl that I couldn't do certain things. So, since I turned 15 I did everything that I wasn't supposed to do. When I was in Atari Teenage Riot my Father asked me why I don't sing like Whitney Houston!
When I got married at 24 my husband took my family name. I still went on tour and he looked after the children. Whenever I met any 'macho' guys I would politely smile and leave because in my world they simply didn't exist.
After 11 years of marriage I went with my children on a small island in the South Pacific and we stayed there for five years. The women on the island also inspired me - they were really strong but had very old-fashioned views on how men should act around them. It was a big shock for me that they thought their husbands wouldn't love them if he wouldn't hit them from time to time. After seeing that the island wasn't paradise at all we went back to Berlin.
I felt that it was then the right time to sing about my feelings and be brave enough to be authentic and show another side of myself. For me, making music is very cathartic - I'm able to free myself of pain and thoughts. Whenever I finish an album and perform the songs on stage in front of audience I feel free of all the stones I was carrying around for so long and move on. We can change all the time, we just have to get over who we were and see who we want to be next.
Fantôme's album 'It All Makes Sense' it available now on iTunes and Spotify.